AITA - I (30f) just got ghosted by a guy (30) I've liked for a long time, like since 6th grade to be specific. For some background he started going to my school in 6th grade, we dated for a short period and we used to call and talk on the phone and that was a first for me. Then one random day he stopped talking to me, like wouldn't respond when I was standing next to him talking right to him. So my 6th grade self got mad and broke up with him. I never actually understood what happened or why he stopped talking to me then.

Eventually we started talking again like none of it happened. We were friends through middle school, not best friends but I would say good friends. He would talk to me once I'm a while and be flirty and stuff and eventually asked me out a couple more times but I turned him down then because I felt like we were both still young and dumb and I liked him more than that so I didn't want to risk fucking it up. We didn't go to high school together and kind of grew apart but stayed friends on social media and stuff. We both dated other people and I wasn't that jealous because I had turned down my chance and I just wanted him to be happy.

So now over a decade later, we both ended up single again for the first time and he reached out. I was excited to hear from him and just happened to be traveling to his state about a month after we started talking again so I went and stayed a weekend with him. I think I ruined it because before I went out there I decided to stop taking my anxiety medication, and I was not in a mental state to be around so many new people and especially meeting his daughter for the first time. I was going through withdrawals the whole time so my head was pounding, I was nauseous and physically exhausted. I shouldn't have gone but I was too excited to see him.

I thought it was going ok, but we were both a little quiet. Not mute, we had conversations but there were also times I was content just being there. I was trying not to be paranoid and anxious so I tried to brush it off. We did have sex the first night, that he initiated. I was up kind of early and me and his daughter had a few minutes of playing with the dog together while he was still sleeping. I ended up going back to sleep and when I got up later it kind of seemed like they were ready to go so I'm not sure if they were waiting for me. We went to a park and met his friends, I met his sister the night before, I wasn't super talkative but I tried to make conversation when someone was near me.

Him and his daughter and I went to the mall and walked around and I thought we were just hanging out, then on the way home he asked me if his sister looked pregnant, which was kind of odd. I thought he meant that he thought she was pregnant and couldn't tell, but then he said she's super pregnant and about to pop but just covers it well with baggy sweaters and I just said no I hadn't noticed. Then right as we were getting back he gets a call from his sister that she's having the baby and he needs to take her to the hospital. The whole thing caught me off guard but I was trying not to make myself anxious or freak out because I had no reason to think it wasn't true. He was saying we may have to cut the weekend short because he didn't know how long it would take and he was anxious about it. So he left for a few hours and I ate and took a nap in case I would have to leave because the drive would be a couple hours and I was too exhausted to leave that second. By the time I woke up they were back and things seemed ok, we smoked and watched a couple movies before going to bed and in the morning we smoked and were talking just fine before he left to work.

After he left he just wasn't texting me anymore and I thought maybe he was busy. I tried texting him a couple times and he would either not respond or he would respond once and not say anything wrong and then go back to ignoring me. Not long after I left it was his daughter's birthday so I sent her flowers not knowing anything was wrong and he thanked me and said I was awesome but then went back to not responding. I blocked him on social media temporarily because he was still posting a lot so obviously on his phone but not responding to me and it was driving me crazy so I needed a break from seeing his posts. I texted him that I couldn't tell if he hated me or not and he said I'm literally like his fave 5 people. I sent him a bag of gummy dicks for his birthday the week after that and he didn't respond. He's bi so I thought maybe he would think it was funny and break the ice but he just ignored me.

Now I'm blocked on Facebook but not Instagram and he blocked my phone number. I wasn't trying to annoy him I may have texted him between 5-10 times in the month since I've left and I have no idea what happened. I think I may have borderline personality disorder and this whole situation is driving me insane I feel so shitty that I fucked everything up and now he hates me. I don't know if it's because I was too quiet, because I didn't bond with his daughter right away, maybe he wants kids (he was saying he has baby fever but also definitely doesn't want kids), maybe the sex wasn't for him? I don't know and I genuinely don't care if he doesn't wanna date me I miss him as a friend at the very least and I thought we were closer than that and now him ghosting me has me spiraling. I feel like I will never be able to handle a relationship I don't understand people I don't understand why he couldn't just say whatever it was. I'm scared to find out but also genuinely want to know because if I did something shitty I want to be accountable for it. Was this just one of those things where he just wanted to get back at me for turning him down in high school? Fml this whole situation has made me realize I need to go to therapy and back on medication because I don't understand what happened at all. When I left he hugged me super tight for a min it wasn't like a side hug now get out. I'm so confused.