34m. I have a 13yo daughter and I've been with my wife for 8 years. Lately my wife and my daughter haven't gotten along at all. This is 100% due to my child, as she's completely destroyed our trust. She's basically been lying and making some pretty big accusations about people at school and my wife called the school ready to kill, just to find out that my kid lied about the whole thing, several times. On top of this, my daughter also loves drama. So she will come home and insist on following my wife around just inches behind her while filling my wife in on the latest gossip that my wife had absolutely zero interest in. So, for about 3 months it's been very tense in this house. We are all in therapy but honestly, I think my wife is just done because my daughter embarrassed her several times and now my wife wants nothing to do with my kid. We have been working on it, but ya know.

But here's the thing.. going back to my daughter following my wife around to gossip.. she only does this when my wife is in the middle of something. So like, if my wife is cooking my daughter is leaning on the stove and running her mouth and making cooking impossible. If she's trying to walk outside to do something, my daughter will be like "wait" and start talking gossip and preventing my wife from doing what she needs to do. If my wife is doing dishes, my daughter is right by her side talking her ear off. Wife relaxing on the couch playing on her phone or watching tv? My daughter sits practically on top of her and throws her feet on her and demands her attention. I absolutely know it's an issue and there's been several times I have stepped in and told my kid to cut the shit. I've grounded her, taken things away, tried talking calmly, yelled, etc. There's zero getting through to her that she needs to respect people's personal space. But we are working on it, again.

And honestly, I don't think any of this justifies my wife losing it today the way she did. She was trying to make dinner and my daughter was talking my wife's ear off and every time my wife moved a different direction, my daughter moved so she was still in my wife's line of sight. I told her to back off and she did. I go out to the garage to grab something and all the sudden I hear my wife screaming "back the fuck up away from me, Jesus fucking christ, you must love the smell of my ass since you refuse to get out of it". I run in and find pasta literally everywhere on the floor. I ask wtf happened and my wife loses it. Says "what the fuck do you think happened? Your kid refuses to get out of my ass and slammed in to me when I was trying to pour pasta in the pot and knocked all of the fucking pasta out of my hands so now I have to go to the god damn store." I told her to lower her voice and stop speaking like that because my kid is now crying at this point and it's just not appropriate language at all. Well, she then tells me that I'm "fucking pathetic" and walks out. She hasn't come back home and she's refusing to take my calls. It's been an hour. AITA? Should I have scolded my kid and not told my wife to essentially calm down?