ive never posted in here before but I just wanted to see other peoples opinion. I recently had to cut off my mom because I found out she is the other woman in a relationship. For the past year my mom was stating they were just friends with this man for a year but to give you context this man has two children under the ages of 10 with a woman he has been with for 7 years.My mom has known him for atleast 5 years. Keep in mind he has been with this woman but has never proposed or is married to her. For the past year my mom stated she was beginning to have a crush and she knew it was not appropriate and I did say yes it might be time to back away. Skip to 7 months later and this man is spending several thousands on my mom to install an in home charging station for a car. Bringing over my mother gifts and coming over on a regular basis. My mother started bringing him up on a daily basis on ways to help him and buying him gifts here and there and recently spent a couple hundred dollars in gifts just to help him for all he has done. I mentioned it to my mom does his girlfriend know how much he had given you? She said of course not but he says she is super abusive and he cant leave her because their assets are tied together? Even though they are just dating essentially. I did bring up that he still goes back home to the place they live together in with their children. After multiple times mentioning it the last few months my mother became super defensive saying to stay out of her personal life. A couple of days ago I went to visit my mom and I went up to her room to grab something and found condom wrappers on her nightstand. That following day I ended up confronting her. When I brought it up to her over text she immediately began to stop meddling with her personal life. To give you context my whole childhood was my mother being cheated on by my father by her best friend and my step father also cheating on my mom with multiple women. Throughout my childhood I held my mother crying and begging for these men to come back and screaming at these women for breaking up a family. When I was small I would accidentally call my mother my step moms name and my mother would immediately send me to my room or ground me. This was always a super sensitive bringing this up with her. I did end up brining this up to my mom that essentially she was doing this to another family and she completely ignored it and kept persistently saying to stay out of her life and if I continued she would destroy me. During the conversation my mother cut me from our family plan with the carrier and cut off my car insurance. As my mother has an abusive past with me I did have to block her as she kept throwing insults to me and trying to make me the problem. Growing up I have come to terms with the abuse that she inflicted on me as a child and have set it aside to try to have a relationship with her. Last year my grandfather passed away so her father so I definitely know this was related to this from continuing the way it did. I just dont know how to deal with having a relationship with her again because how she raised me to have a hatred for cheating. Im currently married and I know my mother would tell me to leave my husband if he ever did something like this so I don’t understand what is different. I feel like Im dealing with a lot of shame of having to do this because the passing of my grandfather in last 8 months.