So my (32F) dog got put down on Tuesday. He was my best mate of 8 years, he meant the world to me and I was absolutely devastated. My boyfriend (M33) took a disliking to him roughly 4 months ago because my dog would sit on his camp chair outside and it became quite childish where my partner had absolutely nothing to do with him, would kick him away if he went near him and wouldn’t even hold his lead for me one day when we went for a walk to the shops and I needed to go into the post office.

Anyway, Tuesday afternoon I sat with my dog as he got put to sleep way before his time due to complete kidney failure, resting his head on my lap and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done… I didn’t receive much comfort from my boyfriend but I didn’t over think it..

Thursday rolls around and my partner is being very short and quiet. Seemed super off. I asked a few times if something was wrong and he just said he was feeling flat. Ok that’s fine.. I was extremely upset still about my dog but ok. As the day went on he just got worse and worse, he came outside at one point and I was crying and he didn’t even acknowledge that just asked what I thought of some comedy show he had been playing inside. I just went “oh yeah…” or something of the likes and didn’t say anything else. He went off inside after doing a sarcastic head nod in response to my answer and didn’t come back or care I was crying…

He spent all night on the couch watching TV on his phone even after I sent a message sad from bed saying “I could really use a cuddle” he came to bed about an hour later but didn’t acknowledge or touch me. I asked if I did something and he said no.

Fast forward to today and I took my kids out with my friend to try get my mind off things. I got home and he came at me guns blazing going on about how he’s “going through it right now” I asked what’s wrong and he said nothing he just gets like this sometimes. (Which yes he does and the bad attitude has ruined a lot of things in the past) I made a comment about how my best mate of 8 years just died and I’m ACTUALLY going through something horrible and he said it’s not a competition and “what so my feelings don’t matter”

AITAH here?? I just feel he’s being incredibly selfish in a time I REALLY needed my partner to be there for me. I’ve gotten more support and check ins from people I barely know, my partners best friend…. Even my children’s dad has had more nice things to say than my partner…

Am I being blind and should be more compassionate to him? Am I in the wrong? I’m pretty lost on this one but feel as though I deserved a bit more from him…. And for him to not make this about HIM and to just be there for me….