Hello! I'm 27M and on the Spectrum so I have certain social cues that I struggle with and this is about my S.O. F34. So for some backstory her and I met through a friend group who had paid for a birthday haircut for me. She was the stylist and at that moment we clicked. I had asked for her number and after that we've been together since.

Fast forward to 2 years, two of our friends from the same friend group we're finally going to get married and they asked all of us to be bridesmaid or grooms in the wedding. I was better friends with the bride rather than the groom so she had asked me to be a bridesmaid which I was ecstatic for. A couple months pass after this and I've noticed that my friend group was starting to be more cold towards me even though I had said nothing and every interaction I had with them before was great. All the sudden I wasn't being added to groups, included in anything or even being acknowledged. So I tried asking if anything was wrong and nobody would give me any answer.

At this my girlfriend her kids and I took a trip to Georgia for a family reunion and while we were relaxing at night in our room we were watching anime on her ipad. She leaves to go to the bathroom and messages start popping up on her iPad from the bride. At this point I felt so alone and so gas lit into figuring out what was going on that I looked. Turns out that they stopped talking to me because I was upset with my girlfriend who's also a mother of three going to an abortion rally because I was worried about her safety as if she didn't have three children that she needed to be in their life for. That's all I left it at, she still went and I didn't say anything more after but apparently they all did behind my back.

Back to me looking at the messages they were labeling me as a misogynist with a God complex because I didn't support her going to the rally. I was worried about her safety especially afterwards when most of the protests have turned violent here. So as hurt as I was when I had seen the messages and she wasn't agreeing with her nor disagreeing but allowing her to speak horribly of me. At that moment when she came back I called her out immediately. She's owned up to the mistake she made because now the whole friend group is completely gone and it's just her and I.

I didn't tell her she had to stop hanging out with them but I said I didn't want to hear anything about them for obvious reasons. So she overall just stopped hanging out with them and now it's just us. I don't have any friends like I used to because of all this. I know to some people this sounds really Petty but for me it's a breach of trust in our relationship. I couldn't ever imagine talking horrible about her nor listening other people talk horrible about her and just standing by idly.

After that we both changed our passwords on everything and now neither of us have access to anything. I understand me going through the messages was wrong but at the same time I feel her breach of trust was just as horrible to me if not way worse. Now she has the mindset of as long as I don't go through her privacy on her phone she's okay with it. But I look at it as she should have absolutely nothing to hide if she's being faithful and respectful of me as I've been the entire relationship. I would give her my phone password gladly but I'm not going to do a one-sided trust. I would like to know how I'm still the bad guy and all of this because we're at 4 years and the phone thing is still an issue on her part about trust and privacy.

Let me be clear I haven't done anything close to that since and every time she asks who I'm texting I just tell her it's my privacy. But anytime she's accused me I immediately show her to make her to make her look bad and self-conscious. So am I crazy or do you feel this late in the relationship there should be literally nothing to ever hide from each other? Because that's how I feel and I don't understand how another feel otherwise when they're you're literal other half.