My best friends parents came to my city for vacation to do some sight seeing but my fiancé (30M) and I (29F) had agreed to spend some time hanging out with them while they were here. This has been planned since late 2024 and had been agreed upon.

My fiancé had already missed a dinner night because of a kick ball game but made it to hang the next night. Saturday we were planning on spending the day with them.

My fiancé booked playing pickleball with his friend in the middle of when we were supposed to hang out with them (4:30).He did it while we were at breakfast with another friend so I didn’t have the opportunity to talk to him about before he spent $40 on the court. we had already been bickering about the kickball night so I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. He said he would try to meet up after but they had scheduled dinner at 6:30 and it was 30 minutes away so it would be tough. He said he would instead stay and clean the apartment and we could have them over that night for post dinner drinks. It was a little awkward since they would mention him being absent and saying pickleball felt like a lame excuse.

I get home at 9pm from our day excursion and my fiancé isn’t at home and clearly hasn’t cleaned the apartment. He comes in, drunk and says sorry that he messed up. He played pickle for 1 hour and then got drunk at a bar with his friends. I’m livid at this point because I feel like he’s been selfish and rude to my best friend’s parents who are visiting. I did raise my voice and tell him he’s been selfish and owes them an apology and he’s being a douche. He said he’s not going to talk to me because he’s sick of saying sorry all the time. He tells me to uninvited them because he doesn’t feel like faking it in front of them.

I told him the are on their way, the hotel they are staying at is 10 minutes away walking. He said fine he’ll fake it and in this calm voice starts saying “ I’m so happy they’re coming, I love you so much”. Obviously in a mean way. He is drunk at this point. I end up texting my best friend that my fiancé is drunk and her and her parents decide not to come.

I am definitely someone who lets you know when I’m upset. My fiancé is claiming he always saying he’s sorry and he’s sick if it. Am I making this a bigger deal? How do I ask him to take accountability without him feeling like he always says he’s sorry?

When I asked him why he did it, he said he felt like he was giving up something he wanted to do which he recognizes is selfish but he is tired of apologizing to me about things. He said sorry but feels like I am just hounding on it.