I don’t even know how I am being blamed in this situation, honestly. I fully 100% believe I am not the asshole here but my parents are so mad at me that I’m coming here to seek out some other views.

So obviously as the title suggests, this happened on Easter Sunday last week. This story involves me (f20), my little sister (f16), my little brother (m13), my youngest sisters (f8 and f9), mom and my dad both in their 40s and my husband (m26). My family goes to church every single Sunday so obviously Easter Sunday was no different. The service started at 8 so me and my husband showed up to my parent’s house at 7:15 so everyone could ride together.

For context, up until I got married very recently and moved out, I would help my mom and dad a lot around the house and with my younger siblings. My mom has told me multiple times since I moved out how much she misses my help. I do my best to still come around as often as possible but I am finishing my degree and also actively applying for jobs for when I graduate, as well as doing an internship and also being newly married! It’s just a lot.

Well at 7:15, absolutely nobody in that house was ready. Brother was throwing a tantrum as teenage boys do, dad was arguing with him, mom was trying to make coffee and the machine was broken, my littlest sisters were fighting over a hairbrush and whacking each other with it, and my little sister, 16, was sitting on the couch looking very sick. She’s usually the one who’s very put together so I asked her if she was okay. She said yes, but told me she had a stomache, and asked if she could drive her own car to church just in case she had to leave because she was sick. I said I didn’t care, especially because even though she felt sick she was the only one who was semi ready to go.

When we finally left my mom harped a few things about my sister just wanting to drive her new car (just recently turned 16 and started driving) but I just ignored it because honestly, she really did seem sick and her car was right behind us the whole time.

About 20 mins after service started, my sister got up and left. She texted me and my mom in a groupchat and told us she was having girl problems and her stomach was really upset so she had to go and didn’t want to say anything in front of everyone. Again, that was a good enough excuse for me.

Wellll except for the fact that her “hack” of trying to turn off her phone at the last location (home) didn’t work. Even though her phone was off driving to church, and then to her boyfriend’s house, it tracked her both places and my mom found out quickly.

Needless to say my mom was livid. She cursed my little sister out, grounded her, took her phone, and told her she can’t see her boyfriend for months. Apparently my sister had been begging to go to his house for months and my mom hasn’t let her. And then I, as an adult, got scolded and reprimanded like a child for it and “allowing” my sister to do that. My mom accused me of knowing her plans and letting her do it, which obviously isn’t true.

I couldn’t believe it. First of all, she’s my sister not my kid and second of all how was i supposed to know. She really did seem sick. I left my parent’s house crying that day because of how frustrated I was.

My husband obviously has been saying it’s not my fault and I shouldn’t be letting it affect me this much, but it truly truly is. I honestly don’t think my mom has thought about it since Sunday but I have so many times. Why is my fault??? Is it my fault???