So I (41M) have been married to my wife (38F) for 10 years. She has an emotional support goldfish named Mr. Bubbles that she’s weirdly attached to. She talks to it every morning, tells it about her day, even kisses the glass goodnight.

Here’s the problem: the fish stares at me. Constantly. I work from home, and no matter where I sit — kitchen, living room, office — Mr. Bubbles floats over and watches me. I swear he judges me. I started feeling uncomfortable in my own house. I couldn’t focus, couldn’t relax. It got in my head.

Anyway, last week my wife went to visit her sister for a few days. She asked me to clean the tank while she was gone. When I tried, Mr. Bubbles flipped out, jumped out of the net, and... yeah. RIP. Total accident (kind of).

I panicked. I didn’t want to break her heart, so I went to the pet store, found a nearly identical goldfish, and swapped him in.

She came home and didn’t notice. In fact, she said Mr. Bubbles seems "happier" now and has a "new glow about him." She’s been posting about how proud she is of his "personal growth" and how "therapy really works if you believe."

I feel bad because her real Mr. Bubbles is, uh, floating in fish heaven, but she seems happier than ever. I didn’t mean for it to happen... but also, it’s kind of a win-win?

AITAH?