Okay, this is kind of a long one. Throwaway for obvious reasons.

So I (28F) have a friend, 'Claire' (31F), who I’ve become really close with over the past year. We live on the same street and she comes over for dinner at least once a week. When we first met, she mentioned she was hopelessly single and open to being set up with someone if I knew any eligible guys.

Since knowing her, I’ve set her up with two different friends of mine. Both were interested in her, but she didn’t feel a spark with either, so I left it alone for a while.

Recently though, I met a guy through a side gig — let’s call him 'Ryan' (30M). He seemed like a great fit for Claire: creative background like hers, loved dogs, kind, thoughtful — all the green flags. I got good vibes and decided to ask if he was single. I was kind of blunt, and he hesitated for a second (which I figured was just surprise), but said he was single. I clarified it wasn’t for me (I’m happily married with kids), and asked if he’d be open to a blind date. He said “yeah, sounds fun,” and I gave him Claire's number. All he knew was her name — nothing more.

Claire was excited when I told her about him and looked up his professional site (his personal socials were set to private). Then, she was talking to a colleague, 'Matt', and mentioned the guy’s profession. Matt said he knew someone in that same field but that the guy he knew was married and went to his church with his wife. Claire showed him the professional page and Matt confirmed — yep, same guy.

Claire messaged me to say Ryan was married, and I told her that couldn’t be right. I figured maybe Matt was wrong, or being weirdly jealous/possessive. But I messaged Ryan anyway to double check. He responded with “I have a bit of a history,” and didn’t clarify further.

I told Claire maybe he was married and is now divorced or separated. Then I made a (probably ill-advised) joke, “you’re never appreciative of the opportunity to be someone’s mistress,” just trying to lighten the awkwardness. She didn’t respond.

The next day, I messaged her about something else and she was super blunt — one-word replies, no emojis (which is not like her). I called and asked if she was upset. She said she was “perturbed” that I would intentionally set her up with a married man. I told her, honestly, that I didn’t know — and I still don’t know for sure! Ryan told me he was single. If he’s not, that's not on me.

Now she’s clearly still annoyed with me, and it’s putting a bit of a dent in our friendship.

So — AITAH for setting her up with this guy, and for the joke I made? I feel like I was trying to do something kind and just got caught in a weird situation.