AITAH or is he? After I accidentally woke him at 5AM during the week my mom’s bf says he will wake me up at 5AM on the weekend.

Throwaway account since I don’t want this drama on my main

Okay so I’m 17F and in the UK. I go to college and do A levels which I hate (don’t think it’s relevant tbh) my parents have been divorced since I was 8.

My mums house is very very far away from college I have to get 2 separate buses that take an hour total to get there. However I have been off college for Easter break the last 2 weeks. I was meant to go back Tuesday day but I was very unwell so I was off then and Wednesday… on Wednesday my mum picked up me and my younger brother who goes to school (14m) and is still off on the holidays from our dads, so I ended up at hers on a Wednesday night which never happens, which is when I start at 8:45 on Thursday day.

Since I’m at my mums on the night before I start at 8:45, I planned to wake up at 5AM, since I need to get the first bus at 7:30 to get there on time and I want a couple hours and a little more to do all my hair, makeup, and spend some time with my dogs since I only can in the mornings and arrange my things. I’m undiagnosed however my Dad and some other family know and understand I definitely have ADHD and have my whole life but my dad doesn’t want me to diagnose it since he think it’ll worse my job prospects or something. So I always forget things and take a while to get ready.

We have 2 dogs, the older dog who is 4f and the new puppy who’s 4 months old. The older dog usually sleeps in the hallway, whilst the new puppy has been sleeping in my mums room with her upstairs. I normally get my older dog from downstairs so she can lay in my bed with me for a bit in the morning since my mums bf says she isn’t allowed to sleep in rooms overnight. And recently he’s been saying the new puppy is a downstairs dog only except for when she sleeps in my mums room at night and our older one has to keep her company downstairs too during the day and then sleeps downstairs at night so they both have to say down there and it breaks my heart, the new puppy is a miniature dachshund and the older one is a jackapoo but she looks like a Jack russel and the puppy always bites her, her ears go down and she looks so sad like she wants to come up like she used to so I like spending what little time I can with her upstairs in the morning.

Anyway I got up at 5AM and felt awful. I really didn’t wanna go into college again since I still felt unwell, my throat is burning as I write this, but my mum kept going on saying I have to since the night before. When I left my room, I saw the upstairs bathroom light was on so I figured my mums bf who I’ll call Craig was getting ready for work in there so I went downstairs and the hallway was empty without the older dog sleeping in it, since they removed all the carpet and are painting or whatever. So I went into the kitchen and both the dog beds were in there and empty. I was drowsy but went to the front room door, and I didn’t open it, but I heard loads of scratching. I then instinctively opened as I knew my dog was in there and sure enough the older dog runs out to greet me.

I opened it quietly but I then hear loads of swearing, as Craig had apparently been sleeping in there with both dogs with him. I was confused since I thought he was just upstairs getting ready. The puppy then runs out after and they are both trying to lick me but I was so confused since the new puppy had been sleeping upstairs with my mum, but I had been at my dads for the past 6 days since then as family had been visiting during the Easter break. I cant remember what he said but kept swearing and saying ‘thanks a lot’ and how I woke him up. I kept saying sorry and shut the door thinking he could fall back asleep. I noticed the puppy had peed a tiny bit so I took the dogs outside and a few mins later he followed me.

He started swearing I don’t even remember because I was tired and he’s always excessively angry and he said ‘don’t think you’re going back to bed’ but I wasn’t going to anyway? I let the puppy back in but the older dog stayed outside and the new puppy was lying against me as I sat next to the back door and stroked her, he then came and grabbed her from next to me whilst swearing and having a go at me again. He swears like an 11 year old who just learned how even though he’s in his mid 40s he just keeps saying the S and F word wherever they fit in his sentence to show he’s angry.

He snatched the puppy from next to me and continued to make himself coffee, she immediately came back to me when he put her down and then the older dog wanted to come in. (was still outside) I let her in and she walked into the kitchen, she stood next to the kitchen door and wanted to go upstairs but he said she’s dirty and to clean her. I went into the conservatory, he shut the door with me in there and I got a towel and started cleaning her and he opened it a minute later saying ‘I’m gonna come into you on Saturday or Sunday morning whatever night you’re staying here (I go to my dads one day) and I’m going to wake you up at 5AM to see how you feel’ I asked him why he couldn’t just go back to sleep now and I tried to explain what I said here to him but he kept saying ‘bulls**t’ and swearing MORE and shouting at me. And claims he can’t fall back sleep in the morning, even though when I was 13 and used to sit on my mums bed and talk to her whilst him and her were in bed he could fall asleep with all the lights on and me talking at the top of my voice and he’d literally start snoring but like ok then.

I think I’ve written too much I’ll try and sum it up but older dog walked into the kitchen and he shouted at me even though she did so since he had opened the door?? And then when I was done wiping her, he left with his coffee and opened the kitchen door and she tried to go upstairs and he grabbed her when she was mid stairs and carried her into the front room forcing her in there with him since he was mad at me, she had her ears down and tail between her legs she looked so sad but he forced her, I got the puppy and started walking up with her and he kept saying ‘don’t you dare’ or something and I went and put her down again and I remember him calling me ‘stupid girl’

As I’ve finished writing and editing this it’s 5:59AM and I don’t even have time to get ready. Honestly my throats burning still I’m exhausted I couldn’t sleep at all last night I got 2 hours sleep I can’t be dealing with him not even listening to my explanation or being understanding it was a mistake. But still is he overreacting?? Or was I genuinely wrong for opening the door and waking him up

Side note if this makes a difference- he has a 2 year old with my mum, my half sister. She is his only kid and sleeps upstairs with my mum in their bed still so he always sleeps in the front room when he’s working but like I said, I thought he was in the upstairs bathroom getting ready but I guess someone left the light on by mistake.

Mini update: it’s 6:54AM and I heard my dog scratching at my door. (Older dog) I opened it and literally as I did he was in front of my door and picked her up saying ‘nearly’ and went into his room and shut the door whilst holding her. I’ve never felt so pissed he literally forced her into his room with my baby sister in there who grabs and pulls her since he’s mad at me.