So me (17m) and my gf (17f) have been together for almost 1.5 years. It's a generally good relationship. We have had our share of bumps but we overcame them. It's my habit since we started that I blame everything that ever goes wrong on myself. It's better than blaming her because that makes her feel bad and makes me feel angry at her as well (a lot of people might say this is wrong as this is not a sign of a healthy relationship but it works in my relationship and keeps things good). The thing is, whenever we have sexted, it's 95% of the times me who does all the writing, and I'm honestly happy doing that. All I ask in return is just good reactions or sometimes if I ask her to write something for me, she does. It was all good until January end. I think mid Jan was the last time she ever wrote anything for me, and the number of times she has since the relationship started is less than 10. Maybe 8-9 but not more than that. Reasons being that first, she was busy and could not spend time thinking about it (she had her college entrance exams in December alongside school so this reason is valid), and second that I usually never asked her for doing so. I mean I usually got rejected so I made the frequency very low of asking her. Now what happened in Jan was that we sexted. Quite nicely as well. I loved whatever we did in that month, but after that whenever I tried to initiate anything, she never gave any sort of reaction. What she mostly said was "interesting". She told me long ago that she doesn't get turned on easily, and ik that's true cause we've been a little intimate (like making out and touching each other. Nothing more than that) and I've felt her body being turned on right at the end. After about one or 1.5 hour of doing everything. Anyways, words never really did much for her. They did, right in the beginning and last time they did was in January. Anyways, so after January she never really responded positively to my messages, nor did she continue talking about that sort of stuff if I tried to start anything. This went on till March, when I asked her directly about this and why she didn't respond properly. She told me that she didn't know how to respond back to this stuff and that whenever I ask her to write something for me, her mind goes blank and she can't think of anything. And I believe her because she's told me that before as well. Now, I obviously cannot tell her to force herself to think something sexy for me, so I had no other option than to agree with her not doing anything. She also said that if I wanted to leave her for this she'd understand. Her exact words were "I'd really understand it if you wanted to leave me because of this. I cannot fulfill your physical needs and I'm so sorry but I just cannot." Something along the lines of this. Anyhow, I said that I obviously won't leave her because of this and that it was fine (because obviously). After some time, I told her that it was fine if she didn't write anything for me, but I would keep writing stuff for her and all I want from her is some good reactions and she agreed to that. Skipping forward to yesterday and today. I stopped telling her whenever I got turned on because that was never of any use. I mean at least not after last year June. She just replies with something normal and tells me to stop thinking whatever I am, and get back to doing my work. This is what happened today as well. She always says sorry after rejecting me (she does now at least. She didn't use to do it before). So I told her, then she said sorry and this happened thrice. I then stupidly suggested to her whether she'd be up for roleplay sort of thing, in which we could put both our inputs at the same time and it wouldn't be all about sex. This apparently made her feel very bad and guilty that she cannot fulfill my physical needs and basically, I fucked up even more by suggesting that roleplay thing. I apologised for it to her. A lot and she said it's okay and she thanked me for apologizing and said that she needed to hear it. That is it.

I'm so sorry to those who stuck around till here to read this whole thing. But please do reply. I feel like I am. I really am the ah for even suggesting to her even though she's made it pretty clear that she isn't interested in anything. Btw, we haven't had any sort of physical intimacy either for the past 5 months. She's shy of doing anything in public, so she always said about doing something when we're alone. we had the private chances but she always says I can't or i forgot.