For context, I have a 25 year old son. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, impulse control problems, bipolar and I can't remember what all else. I have been a single mother to him for his entire life. He started being violent with me when he was 5. I'd been taking him to therapists until he turned 15. At that time, a therapist in training ever so helpfully informed my son that, at 15, I could no longer "force" him to see a therapist. Bless that man's heart.

I did the best I could. I could not find help for him because my son's IQ was one point above the cut off point for services. I was not equipped to deal with my son's problems on my own. I was completely out of my depth and had no clue what I was doing. There was no one to help me, though. I was all my son had, so I just kept trying.

Just before he turned 24, I could not do it, anymore. I had my son arrested for assault and told him that he could no longer live with me. (He was deemed incompetent to stand trial and the charge was dismissed) That was a year and a half ago and, now that he's no longer living under my roof, people are suddenly coming out of the woodwork to help him. He's in a decent program and being fully cared for.

My mother has never approved of the way I raised him. She has had to endure many phone calls when I called her in tears because I had to have my son admitted to a psych hospital for hurting me.

Last Thanksgiving, there was a problem with my son's caretaker at that time. What the problem was is not relevant to this story but the end result is that my son was without a place to go that night. I let him spend the night with me. My mother called me the next day, absolutely furious with me. She asked me why I had let him in the door. I told her that I couldn't just let him freeze. Her response was "Why not? I could. I don't care. I don't care if he freezes."

I have not spoken to her, since, but we have had email exchanges. I told her that this wasn't something I could forgive without an apology. She refuses to apologize. The last email I got from her, she told me that this was silly, that I was "asking her to apologize to me for raising a child I wasn't capable of raising".

I can't really understand my mother's side of this issue. I'm not asking her to change her opinion, I just want her to apologize for saying she could let my son die and not care. I know I wasn't capable of raising him but why is that a factor in her opinion on his life? Am I being an AH in wanting an apology?