Background Info

I am divorced and have two children in their late teens. My partner was in a 30 year marriage that went bad about 10 years prior to his divorce last year. His ex-wife asked for legal separation after trying out an open marriage for about a year. She is still dating the person she met through this arragement. When my partner asked me to go on our first date, he was about two years legally separated. And at the time he and his ex switched between their two homes every other week to care of their 22 year old child with Down's syndrome.

The AITAH Situation

I was staying with my partner during his week at the main home as I had been doing most days for about a month. There was a large wedding picture of my boyfriend and his ex at the entrance to their bedroom and I didn't like seeing it. I asked if he wouldn't mind taking it down just while his ex was at their other home. He said no problem and put it in the closet. Of course his ex came home unannounced one day when I was at work, supposedly to get something but her son mistakenly told her I was living there, so who knows. She saw the picture was down and went ballistic, laid into my partner telling him he was a terrible person and it was unforgiveable and then proceeded to take down all of the family pictures that he was in. She gave them all to him and told him to throw them away, but he put them in his storage unit hoping she would ask for them back, but she hasn't.

The Aftermath

Two years have passed and his ex is still pissed at me, about the picture thing. She wants my partner, but not me, to attend family events like birthdays and holidays at what is now her and her boyfriend's house, so her boyfriend is at these events, but I am not welcome. She is passively aggressive to me through the son telling him things like she doesn't like me, her other adult child doesn't like me, etc., as she knows he will repeat it to my partner and I. I feel bad for my partner as he wants to have a good relationship with his ex and me, and for me and his children to like each other. He started doing separate family events that include me since his ex won't (we are committed and live together, neither of us want to get married again) so the ADULT kids have two birthday and holiday celebrations now. Should I suck it up and apologize in hopes it will help ease tensions or is it too late?