A little background- my friend moved in with me and instead of rent, they've agreed to take care of household tasks; taking the garbage out, doing my dishes, keeping the floors swept and mopped, other tasks that need to be done (occasional errands, and occasional deep cleaning tasks). I maintain the bathroom and do occasionally do my own dishes (I'm a clean as I go kind of cook). They've also agreed to support me through an upcoming surgery recovery.

I work a high stress job that until recently required upwards of 60 hours a week while also dealing with a chronic pain condition. I don't expect them to constantly have the place spotless and we have discussed this at length when they were apologizing for not getting the dishes done within 24 hours. My least favorite part of this situation is the power dynamic and I have no interest in holding power over them. Their contributions are valuable and make my life so much easier. I always try to ensure that this feels like their home too despite their preference to not be added to the lease. Thus far, it has worked out great and I appreciate all their help so much and they express a similar sentiment about me covering the rent.

We've approached our first disagreement when I asked them to remove the price tag stickers from my recent purchase of dishes while they were doing the dishes. They said this is an over reach and stated "I'm not your maid, you're treating me like your maid" and "would you also expect me to remove the price tag from a shirt you bought?". My stance is that this is well within the bounds of our agreement. They asked "Why do you think this is appropriate to ask of me?" and I said "Because I pay $XYZ for rent each month". They responded "Well, that's your choice." 😡 They also asked "Are you not capable of removing price tags?" and I responded "I am capable of that and I'm also capable of doing my own dishes but we have an agreement".

They're unemployed but go to school part time and they are able bodied so they have more time and spoons to take care of these things. I am happy to share my space with them but I also expect them to uphold their end of the agreement. Honestly, I'm feeling hurt that they witness how much I work, how much work stresses me out, how much pain I am in regularly and yet they think that requesting them to remove price tags from 6 dishes is too much of an ask.

I have zero interest in hearing from anyone who doesn't believe in mutual aid. I'd prefer to hear from folks who are radical/leftist. I'm not a landlord(ALAB), this is an apartment and we have mutually beneficial agreement.

But also, am I the asshole? Is this an over reach? Am I treating them like my maid? Do I let this go? If I let it go, how do I also let go of resentment I would feel? Is there a way to tactfully get them see it from my side?