Buckle up as this will probably be a long post. I am looking for all perspectives so please be direct. I have a friend group in a city and we are all in our mid to late twenties. Recently a few friends moved away and I had a falling out with one of the girls due to a betrayal on her end. While this post is not about her, I want to acknowledge the extent of what she did to me. She was supposed to pet sit and lied about not taking care of my pet and did not come to take care of him while I was out of town. It was a five day trip where I found out on the last day that she had not been taking care of my pet. I have obviously cut her out since as this was a violation of trust that had a significant impact on my pets safety. Since then, it’s been awkward with friends. I have tried to reach out to everyone individually and stay in close contact after this blow up fight. The original group chat is non existent. My closest friend in the group let’s call her Sara told me she didn’t care about what happened because it didn’t happen to her and she would still be friends with this girl. I have come to accept that they of course are still friends however was shocked about the lack of support through this. Since that fight she had stopped reaching out to me and initiating plans. I noticed that the friend group was still getting together and taking big trips all while inviting this other girl and leaving me out. For my mental health I started to distance myself from them. Sara reached out to me in December to talk about this and gave me I would call a half apology where she did acknowledge that she hadn’t been reaching out but she said this was due to work and did not address the root issue. I also told her at this time it was very hurtful to see friends get together in this context and not invite me as I was the one who was consistently being left out. She told me it was not her fault as she was not the one planning things. Since then, we have stayed in contact although I have made a significant attempt to create better friendships else where. Recently I also went through a very hard break up with someone I thought would be a life partner. It’s been very hard and I had to go home for a while for my mental health. When I returned to the city, I found out that this group was planning another trip without me. I felt like I was being kicked while I was down and was very upset that I was being excluded again while going through something very painful. Sara had been reaching out the past few weeks to get together but every time I thought about seeing her I was filled with dread. After playing a bit of cat and mouse with scheduling something, I told her I needed space to process everything. Sara got very angry at me for this and said I had no right to be upset at her for the trip as she was not the one to plan it. She told me i could talk to the other girls about it but I can’t blame her for their actions. She had asked them how they would handle this situation and in doing so felt like she had stuck up for me. I see that differently as she was more concerned with being put in the middle than how it would impact me. While I know it’s not something she can control, she is still actively participating in a dynamic where I’m the one who is always left out and it’s very hurtful. When I told her this she pointed to me making new friends and not including her there as a justification for why it’s ok that I’m left out. I feel like I’m going crazy but how hard would it to have just been to say “hey she’s going through a really hard time and would have liked to be invited”. Instead I was left out for this other person - who I should I add I introduced everyone to. I have known these girls for far longer before this other girl and I am shocked by the level of loyalty and empathy that was shown to me through this. I know I have every right to ask for space especially while I’m processing a break up but my friends reaction made me question this. AITAH?