So, recently my now ex broke up with me. It was sudden, it happened after a few days of struggling with my depression diagnosis. She said she had to work on some stuff for herself and that it wasn't my fault.

We kept in touch and it seemed possible to get back together, she said it was nice to read my thoughts about her and that I could do it. I wrote her a couple messages and the possibility of getting back, however, she wasn't replying and when I pointed out I was feeling ignored after what she said, she replied she was feeling sick and had lots of work. It annoyed me because she was uploading pictures of herself and seemed as she had time.

Today I got mad, I was really trying to keep my promises but it felt like enough, I assumed she was playing with me and decided I was done. I borrowed her and her family some money about a month and a half ago, and I wasn't to hard about them paying me back but as I thought it was over for good I wrote her to ask for it. Basically I explained I didn't need everything back, just what was possible so I could continue paying my therapy (not a lie, it can come in handy because pills against depression are quite expensive in my country). She replied quite fast, she spent the night at the hospital, she was actually pretty sick, suffered a black out due to decompensation as she has not been eating properly. She has no insurance so had to pay a lot.

Now I'm feeling guilty and don't know if it is right to ask again for my money, for the moment I told her it doesn't matter and that she should focus on getting better. I know my relationship with her would never be the same, even if I still love her, she is not giving me back the same interest and love. But asking for the money would make me the asshole?