Sorry, this is long.

I was invited to a trip with one of my friends who is in the music industry.

A bit of background, I have been very supportive of this friend over the 10+ years we have been friends. Lending her money after she lost her job, taking care of her after major surgery (I stayed with her, cooked for her, helped her shower, took her to the Dr etc) and always being down to support her artistic journey. "Do what's makes your heart happy" is my opinion on most things. We have some differing political views but that seems more of an issue it is for her than me as to me, as long as youre not hurting anyone, I dont care what you believe.

The last time we saw each other was October where I had planned to stay with her for a weekend and attend a show she was hosting. She contacted me a day before I was supposed to leave and asked me if I could find another place to stay as she needed the space for another friend of hers. I have a brother that lives in the same city as her so fine, that's not a big deal. I got to her event early and helped her set up for hours. Several times during the event she was pretty rude to me (saying "shes a professional i think she knows what shes doing" when I asked the tech we were working with if something was possible with the lighting, so she could have what she wanted visually "you know there's a public bathroom" when I went in to grab a tissue and "can you leave?" When I went to get something from my bag backstage). I was filming the event for her as well and was not compensated for this.

I skipped brunch the next day and went home feeling a little butthurt but ultimately I let it go. She was stressed out, there was a lot going on, its not that big of a deal, I told myself.

Fast forward to this trip. She calls about 6 weeks ago and asks me if I want to come with her to an event across the country because shes rented a house with tons of space and would love to have me. I was already traveling overseas with family but agreed to redirect my flight home so I could go and support her. I guess I should have asked more questions (my bad) but the way she described it, I wasn't expecting to also pay for the accommodation and the event (as a headliner she's usually got guest list passes). A few days later she messages me about how much my share of the house is, and the grocery money they want me to contribute to. Surprising, but not the end of the world. I sent it.

About 5 days before id arrive I asked about guest list and dress code where she told me id need to buy a ticket, and only because I asked.

So now ive paid for a flight, paid for the house, paid into the "grocery" budget, and am being asked to buy a ticket to this show. The final count for the house was only confirmed a day or so ago and of the people going there are 2 women (im one of them) and 4 men, 3 of whom i have never met. The house has 4 beds and 1 bedroom. 3 of the beds are in the living room.

I messaged her asking if we could share the bedroom so i could be more comfortable vs having to share space with 3 men ive never met and she straight up ignored me. There is a group chat where the other folks are discussing party favors (not my scene but I dont mind others imbibing) and she was very active in that chat. She's got time to buy ❄️ but not to send me one word of reassurance. They've all landed hours ago and still nothing from her. I should also mention that I come from a family of addicts and ❄️ use isn't a deal breaker for me but I dont love being around it. Seems like that's all they have planned for this weekend.

My gut was telling me this was a bad idea, so I bailed and asked for my money back. Shes upset because its last minute (I was supposed to arrive tomorrow (Friday) the rest of folks are arriving today (Thursday). I feel like I was only invited to offset the costs of things (and the petty 🥔 in me feels like its to offset the cost of the party favors) and that doesn't sit right with me.

So... AITAH?