This may be long but I feel like it needs to be said for context reasons. My buddy “John” (23m) got dumped his now ex fiance “Katie” (21f) back in November 2024. The breakup really hurt him and he struggled for a bit. But a huge part of me is thinking he’s becoming the “obsessive” ex of sorts. More specifically I think he’s lying about a lot of stuff not only to make things seem better to others but to convince HIMSELF that not all hope is lost. What I think he’s lying about are his claims that he and “katie” have been messaging each other and things are going very well. I still remain friends with him and his ex. And knowing his ex, she genuinely has NO reason to lie. Actually me and another mutual friend were kind of the reasons why they met. And to make sure you guys understand my perspective, I’ll need to give context on what led up to the breakup:

On the night they broke up, Katie discovered archived pics of him and his ex in his Instagram. He never fully deleted them. She tried to ask him about it but he started falling asleep and was so out of it he couldn’t even give a response about it. This all tied back to an issue that had been building up since the beginning of their relationship. Basically he never deleted pics of him and his ex “Ashley” who broke up with him in March of 2022. This includes Instagram archived, Facebook archive, and even a whole picture album of him and this ex IN HIS CLOSET. He was also a musician and sang songs about his ex gf to his ex fiancé and straight up told her “oh yeah this was about her”. “Katie” gave him so many chances and opportunities yet he blew it. I heard his side of the story back in December of 2024 and I heard Katie’s side in January 2025. By the time I heard her side, I asked her if she was still in touch with “John” to which she told me she had cut off contact with him the week prior. There have been at least two times now that he has claimed things are going well and they’re talking. What makes me suspicious about that claim is that they don’t even have each other on social media anymore (since January). Also when asked about his side of the story, he claims that she broke up with him all over just the archived pics and never brought up the other pics he had.

So my question is, AITAH for wanting to ask (or confront him rather) about the truth of the matter? Better yet, am AITAH for wanting to help him move on in a situation that shouldn’t be my business? And finally, AITAH for trying to provide more accountability than some of his other close friends won’t give to him?