I’m pregnant with my first baby and my mom and sister are throwing me a baby shower in May. For context, it’ll be in Michigan and my best friend lives in Idaho. When we were in the early stages of planning I by no means expected my best friend to ever fly in for a shower and would never ask that of her. Her response was so kind and said if “I’m free of course I’d come this is your first baby”. There were 2 date, one she could do in May and one she couldn’t do in April. My other best friend couldn’t do May because it was too close to her giving birth (rightfully understandable.) I chose the May date because it worked out a little better for me and it worked best for my friend in Idaho who was planning on flying in. We had plans of her flying in a day early , hanging out with my family (she’s basically family), and staying with my husband and I at my parents house.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago my friend from Idaho called me stressed out because her really good friend’s boyfriend called her and told her he’s proposing the same day as my shower and asked her to come to this intimate engagement party in NYC. She seemed very torn on what to do but also t’ed up the conversation like “I can’t miss XYZ’s engagement party”. I said it was fine and she said she’s still thinking about what to do. The more time that goes on the more annoyed and honestly hurt I feel by this. I never had an engagement party and She never attended my bridal shower, which is totally fine it was out of state again for her, but her other friend, will be having a bachelorette party, and a shower, and of course a wedding where she will attend everything. I feel hurt that she’s choosing the option that came second to my baby shower and plans to fly out to NYC for 24 hours to be there for her friend.

To make matters worse, I’m having a ton of no rsvps to my shower and have so much anxiety no one will show. It could be as small as 18 people. I know it doesn’t matter and the rational part of me is like it’s just a stupid shower but I’m just feeling super down about the situation and extra emotional from being pregnant. I’m waiting for her to officially tell me and I’m also wondering if I should say anything or just bite my tongue and say “bummer but that’s okay”