Hi everyone, I (23F) have been diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder 2(yikes I know). Just last year my husband (24M) and I brought a little one into the world. Since then I've suffered with post partum depression and bipolar disorder since I was breastfeeding and didn't want the medication to pass through the milk to my LO.

I hated my job so I switched jobs to work at home. But I didn't realized how difficult this job was going to be compared to my last ( I went from banker to claim adjuster) and the amount of claims and phone calls I get, my workload ended up piling up more and more.

I've been having panic attacks, suddenly crying. Wanting to quit but I know I can't so I try my hardest not too. I've called out sometimes and it helps a little but the anxiety still creeps in. I am taking medication for my bipolar and have taken a LOA from work. Today was a horrible morning. I couldn't handle the amount of claims and the 15 missed voicemails ++ text messages and I started to feel overwhelmed and my daughter crying in the background (yes I have a babysitter that comes to the house) I told my husband and he told me to just breathe and what is triggering and I couldn't tell him.

I told him I'm going to just call off today is a lot and recognize maybe I need a therapist so I did went to my midwife let her know I'm suffering through post partum depression and they did refer me to a therapist luckily. But before I went to the doctor I was dropping my husband off at work since we only have one car.

He told me I've been super selfish and how could I put ourselves in this position when I call out and lose money. (I don't have enough PTO) I apologize and told him that maybe I am being selfish but it's difficult for me to do anything since I just feel so depressed and have so much anxiety. He told me it affects him too and I did apologize I had no idea it affected him and just when he was about to leave, he said "I love you" and I asked him I'm scared one day he will wake up and he won't, then he told me that's why he told me I'm being selfish because he rather tell me the truth than burying it and end up hating me.

Which that hurts a lot but I could understand, just when I said i was really sorry for putting him through this and that I just can't help it, I love you to him he scoffed and said "sure" and walked off I told him what did he mean by sure?

He just tell me you're saying that to pretend to be a good guy.

Now I'm just sitting here thinking what's wrong with me? Am I really that terrible? I feel so heartbroken because I'm trying my best but it's so difficult and I genuinely did apologize for my selfishness when I call off of work because of my panic attacks and depression.

I just need to know if am I truly the Asshole?