My boyfriend's (31M) best friend (29M) used to be in a relationship with a former friend (26F) of ours. The relationship was toxic (on both ends). I never talked much with the best friend but was close with 26F, who told me on different occasions that 29M treated her very badly and even threw an object at her once. 26F is a difficult person herself, I found her to be unreliable and unstable sometimes, things she is also in therapy for.

Last year I chose to minimise contact with 26F because I found her behaviour to be often disrespectful to me and my friends - frankly, my life is easier without her and I am not able to give her the support she needs. 26F and 29M eventually broke up. My boyfriend still keeps hanging out with 29M, saying that 26F lied about 29M treating her badly and that 26F was actually the more toxic part in the relationship, because that's what 29M told him.

I never heard 29M's side of the story because I thought I don't need to - while I acknowledge that 26F is a difficult person and I am sure she was toxic too, I always found her stories about 29M credible. I am used to seeing women not being believed, so the last thing I want to do is question a woman who experienced abuse by her partner.

As my boyfriend doesn't see a problem hanging out with 29M, he gets pissed when I want to skip group gatherings where 29M will be. He does not like having to choose between his best friend and me. While I do understand his feelings from his perspective, I struggle to give 29M another chance. I'd rather have both 29M and 26F out of my life.

AITAH if I keep avoiding the best friend? Or should I give this another chance?