It all started online where we met and spoke for years. He questioned and accused me of things frequently. A lot of what he thought was fueled by paranoia and insecurity. But he still blamed me for it and for how he treated me. He became controlling over time. He had me to stop talking to longtime male friend of mine, insisting that he liked me. He asked me to stop going on IMVU and wouldn't tell me why. He had me send screenshots to show what I was doing, that I wasn't on IMVU, and who I was speaking to.

He was bothered if I was talking to anyone else, to my female best friend, especially if it was at the same time I was talking to him. He told me to leave him alone and talk to her. He got upset if my responses were short, unenthusiastic, or not not quick enough. He started w*ore shaming me over how my IMVU avatar was dressed, and accused me of flirting with guys on there. I didn't feel comfortable doing anything sexual, and had reasons for this, all of which he questioned and doubted.

I would occasionally make dirty jokes amongst friends and because of this, he assumed I was lying, that I wasn't as uncomfortable as I said I was. He proceeded to argue with me over this, and over me not being sexual, and eventually made me feel pressured into it. He made me feel like I was to blame for a lot of it. That I had done things that would make him question me, and not trust me, and that I needed to atone. I also was overly understanding, and gave him the benefit of the doubt, thinking he we just hurt and didn't mean any of what he said or did.

Then we met in person and I noticed some of the same behaviors over time, a big one being that he is a massive hypocrite. He went through my phone weeks in questioning, and accusing me, and saying the same things as before. Once again, he was blaming me for everything. I eventually started to suspect him of cheating due to a lot of suspicious behaviors. This was during a time he was treating me worse, was mean and distant, and was ignoring me a lot of the time. I started to threaten to find someone else who cared.

As time went on, and he treated me worse, I started threatening to cheat during heated arguments. Arguments in which he was telling me he doesn't love me, calling me worthless, and doing whatever he could to make me feel like shit. I downloaded tinder to get under his skin because it was all that did. I didn't do anything on it. He couldn't have been too angry about it because he got turned on by it. It was confusing because as controlling, and possessive as he was, he had a fantasy of me sleeping with other men. Which sometimes didn't seem like a fantasy like when asked me to sext another guy in front of him.

He also posted explicit photos of me on here, as me, asking what other guys would do to me before briefly engaging with one of them. When he was doing all of this, he was behaving suspiciously, and I began to suspect he was cheating. However, when I started to question him he called me paranoid and crazy. He said that I was the type to cheat. That I would do so thinking that he had. He was snooping on my phone a lot which bothered me because I wasn't doing anything, because he seemed to be.

When I went to use his phone one time, after a pattern of him staying up all night on it and avoiding me, and after having not touched it in weeks, he slapped my hand away. He asked why I needed it and I told him to check the time. He said I was lying and that I was going to snoop, and how it was abusive, which he later claimed he said because I said similar things and kept my phone from him, that I kept it under my pillow. Which I did and I stopped him from taking it whilst I was asleep, but other times he was able to access it.

He eventually started to call me controlling, toxic, and abusive for questioning him over anything. When he continued to question me if I ever did any of what he was doing, but only during the time he was doing it, otherwise he wouldn't question me or seem worried I was going to cheat at all. In fact, he told me he didn't believe that I would. And so why occasionally question and accuse me then? I eventually made threats during arguments to dress certain ways, in crop tops, which I was already doing and he didn't seem to bothered by. After some time, however, he began to w*ore shame me over it, and blamed me for it. When at the same time he got turned on by it, and showing more interest in me.

He has said what he's done is wrong at times but has also justified, and dismissed it, saying that he was young. He says it's different because I question, and accuse him, more. When he is almost always doing something suspicious, something anyone would question, and just blows me off. I know if I were doing the things that triggered him, that he questioned and accused me over still, he would be the way he was before. I know this because weeks ago I went on IMVU during an argument. It was the first time in a long time. I was just going to talk to a friend. He immediately asked if I was going to flirt with guys.

He always wants me to see his side, to acknowledge what I've done even when I've not done it. All of his reasons for why he doesn't trust me, or thinks and feels the way he does about something, when he refuses to see my point of view, ever. He just shuts it down. Even now he's asking me how I'd feel if he went on IMVU and made his avatar topless, and spoke to girls, to try and catch me out for being a hypocrite. When I never did what he accused me of. When he, at the time, linked his not wanting me on there to the dirty jokes. The flirting thing was paranoia which he still has. He said the same about me wearing crop tops, trying to compare my breasts even slightly showing to him showing his d*ck.

I'm not saying I haven't done anything wrong. The threats aren't right. But when you're being treated the way I was, being told the things he was telling me on a daily basis, you feel cornered. Many times he told me he didn't care if I found someone else, that he didn't want me, and yet when I once downloaded tinder to do just that since he was saying to, and I wasn't actually going to do it, he punched me in the face.