I'm (17f) one of those people who has two last names. These aren’t my real last names, but let’s say they are Peters and Spencer. Peters is my dad’s last name, and Spencer is my mother’s maiden name.

I live with my grandparents on my dad’s side, so their last name is Peters. I don’t go by Spencer, and I don’t go by Spencer Peters—I just go by Peters. But the school always puts Spencer or Spencer Peters as my last name, and I hate it. Every time they do that, I tell them to just use Peters because Spencer is not the name I identify with.

Every single time, I’m told that Spencer is on my birth certificate, so that’s my name and I should just deal with it—which I hate. This has been happening since elementary school. I’ve begged everyone to just call me Peters, but they refuse and keep using Spencer.

At the beginning of this year, I transferred to a new school, and I’ve even gotten into full-blown arguments with teachers about my last name. I keep explaining that I want to be called Peters, not Spencer, but their reasoning is that the system lists me as Spencer Peters.

There’s one teacher—we’ll call him Mr.G. Every single time he talks to me, he says, “Hey, Miss Spencer.” When I correct him, he gets upset and tells me that Peters isn’t my last name. I’ve had him since January.

Starting about two weeks ago, things got worse. We all get personalized assignments and tests, and every time he hands me one, it’s labeled Parker Joy Spencer. I always cross out Spencer and write Peters instead. He gets mad and tells me that I’m being disrespectful.

So, when he calls out “Spencer” in class, I just ignore him. This has been going on for two weeks.

Here’s where I might’ve taken it too far: since he refuses to call me Peters, every time he says “Spencer,” I interrupt and say “Peters.” For example, if he says, “Miss Spencer, you need to turn in your assignment,” I’ll respond with, “Miss Peters needs to turn in her assignment.”

After two days of this, he got frustrated and sent me to the office. The principal told me, “You need to be respectful to your teachers. There will be times when you’ll have to use Spencer as your last name—that’s what’s on your birth certificate. Peters is not.” Then she gave me three days of detention for being disrespectful.

When I got the detention slip, it said Parker Joy Spencer, and I crossed out Spencer and wrote Peters—so it read Parker Joy Peters. When I returned for detention, the principal saw what I’d done and said, “This is a new level of disrespect. That is your legal last name. You don’t get to choose your last name, so stop it.” She gave me two more days of detention.

Every single time I get a detention slip, I cross out Spencer and write Peters.

So here’s my question: Am I in the wrong for insisting people call me Peters, or am I taking it too far? Because I honestly can’t tell anymore. I just want people to call me by the name I go by—not my mother’s maiden name.