Some context,

I’m in an odd relationship with a close friend where we are basically a couple (calling each other honey and stuff) and we live together, we just aren’t interested in anything physical. We have a cat together, who I love more than anything. Yesterday, I couldn’t sleep because if the cat wasn’t biting me because I wasn’t petting her, my GF was hitting me in her sleep, which I woke her up and asked her to turn over, only for it to repeat.

Eventually, I gave up and just decided to take care of some household matters we were falling a bit behind on, like dishes, and cleaning the fridge. I didn’t do the laundry, because my GF said she would do it, and even though it had been a few days since then, I wanted to give her a chance to do it because she has been busy.

She slept 18 hours and woke up and wanted to go out and try a new food place, I just wanting to spend time with her agreed, even if I was tired. We asked our third roommate if she wanted to join, and she said yes. so all three of us headed out, and after went to hang out at something one of my GFs' friends were planning.

She was joking about going back to bed for 18 hours, and I (in what I thought was a lighthearted tone), said maybe she should finish the laundry first. In which she said it was already done, but I knew that was untrue as I grabbed some cleaning supplies from the laundry room while she slept, and our clothes were still in the washer. She got upset at this, and mentioned it, I (maybe not in the brightest of moments) said that this wasn't the time or the place to have that kind of conversation as we were in front of a large group of people. She began to raise her voice saying she was upset and wanted to talk. I said again I really did not think this was an appropriate time or place and we can talk later.

After that, she left. I did not know where as she turned off her location and did not message anyone, and did not return home for 2 and a half hours. After which, I, (once again probably stupidly) got angry and said I was hurt she did that and did not consider how that would make me feel. As not only was I terrified for her safety, but I was also left with our cat and no sleep.

She then told me I could not ask her to respect my boundaries in regards of where to talk if I could not respect hers of wanting space.

so… AITA?

and would I be TA if I wanted to breakup with this being my breaking point?

Some more important points; The day before she slept that long she had an 12 hour shift (so she was exhausted) and the day before that she was playing some video games and writing some essays.

I also had pulled two almost all-nighters working on some programs before this, and on a regular basis am the one who takes care of the cat (she pushed to get the cat), as well as sweeping and keeping the house tidy