So my husband and I have been together for 7 years now with a five year old son together, we own a few restaurants and our relationship is really mostly wonderful. When we were first dating in 2017/2018, we broke up after maybe five months in and he got with a random girl for a week two before he ended things with her and reached out to me to reconcile, the rest is history.

Well there’s this very strange, and I mean, extremely odd and creepy girl who’s been a regular at one of our restaurants for a few years now. She always comes in and sits at the bar alone. She’ll stay all day sometimes. I don’t know much about her but she’s just one of those regulars everyone knows a little about and everyone has off the wall theories about.

The other day, my husband and I were out on a date, somehow that weird little break we took came up for the first time in years… it immediately went to me asking if he ever sees that girl he dated during that break around town, I don’t know her name or what she looks like, I’ve never pried and it’s never been much of a thing, I dated when we broke up too and don’t care much to share about that person either. But he instantly turned kind of green and made like an anguished noise before telling me that that strange girl who’s always at the bar, IS the girl. He swears they literally never acknowledge each other, that he pretends he doesn’t know her, he has no idea why she comes into all the time, but never wanted to tell me because he thought I’d freak out. I’m obviously shocked, it’s kind of thrown a wrench in my trust in him even though I do believe there’s nothing going on… the fact that he couldn’t just communicate with me and now that he’s saying me having feelings about it and being kind of upset is the exact reason he never told me, is really insulting and hurts. He literally said “this is what telling the truth gets you” and got mad at me when I said I was struggling to stomach it today (he told me about it yesterday- I did mostly brush past it, but I can’t stop thinking about it now… I have to add that my father is an employee for us at the restaurant she comes into, and has become friends with her.. so this woman regularly goes to my parent’s house… and neither her nor my husband told anyone about their weird brief history until now.

I feel weird because I know my husband isn’t a cheater, I am not threatened by this woman, but I feel like my husband has no empathy or respect for me right now with how he’s reacting to this. I just want a “I really fucked up you deserve to be mad”…. But instead he’s blaming me and my reaction for this fallout, he doesn’t seem to even think he did anything wrong, and now I’m not sure I can trust his word going forward, especially because of his reaction when I didn’t just say “oh ok you’re forgiven”

Am I wrong to be upset about this at all?