So,

(Context)I am 22 and my MOH is 21. We have been friends since middle school. I am getting married at the beginning of May, and was proposed to in February of 2024. The moment I was, I asked my best friend (let's call her M) to be my Maid of Honor, and she was thrilled. M has been supportive throughout my hardships and my relationship, and I have been there for her as well.

(Jan-March 2025)This wedding planning has been stressful, along with dealing with my partner's addiction(nothing too serious, this has been something we have gotten through). I was down, and maybe over "complained" to her. Otherwise, we had still been FaceTiming, playing games, hanging out, and nailing down wedding details like finding her dress, her shoes, and what jewelry she wanted. (She wasn't like other Maids of honor; she wasn't in charge of planning anything crazy like the bachelorette party, she just needed to help me keep my ducks in a row.) At the end of March, she began distancing herself, which was a little stressful for me as the planning was becoming more finite. She deals with a lot, so I gave her the space and just let her be (This is normal, but it usually only lasts a few days).

A week goes by, I message her just making sure everything was ok and to also catch her up on the drama with my other Bridesmaid, who dropped out due to shitty circumstances, which was also really surprising and bit hurtful, but her and I had an adult conversation and worked it out after. M responded to my message about how she was feeling just saying "Yeah I'm fine, you are not the only one who deals with shit *Laughing emoji*" I told her I was there if she needed to talk.

2 weeks go by, I message her just checking in again, and I also apologized for throwing my drama onto her while she was going through stuff and said I was here for when she felt like talking and when she was up to trying on her dress. No reply. I have talked to my sister-in-law about the situation and as I was asking for advice, she recommended I drive over to her house to check up on her, and as it was becoming more worrying that she was truly suffering, I agreed it was best to do so and went over; she wasn't home. (Also, I have called her a few times throughout this, but it just rang, no answer)

A few days go by, now we are at the present. Yesterday, I messaged her one more time, as we are less than 2 weeks away from the wedding just to see if she needed anything from me, and if she wanted an out of the wedding, i was giving it too her, but i just wanted to know from her how she wanted too continue. I was a little demanding for a response this time around as it's so soon, I'm so stressed, and I have put so much money into her being a part of it, and I asked her to be my MOH for a reason, she is important to me and I care about what she's going through. I also decided to message her mom at this time as well(who is also invited to the wedding and already RSVP'ed), just seeing if she's talked to her, and again asking if there's anything that I could do to help, and if she knew if she could make it too my wedding still. I think that message and my message triggered something... She didn't call, she didn't reply to messages, she sent me a Snapchat of McDonald's, saying over the picture and I quote "I am not obligated to message you, or obligated to be at your wedding *Laughing emoji...Laughing emoji...Laughing emoji*.." I was stunned, I have not once spammed her, or even really demanded her to respond besides when I started asking if she was still wanting to be a part of my wedding, as we are just so close to the day. But maybe I was in the wrong for even asking if she was still coming? I just didn't know the gravity of what she is going through, and I still don't, but I just feel so let down...I feel like, as my maid of honor, she is obligated to do both those things? Maybe not talk about her feelings, but to let me know her status on attendance at my wedding, and to be there at my wedding, as she is my MOH? Am I being self-centered, or AITAH?