I (f36) and my husband (m37) have been together for 11 years married for 1. I and my husband have lived in the house we live in now for 8 years but we have always known it wasn’t our forever home as the house is in the city centre and we have always wanted to live in the countryside. An amazing opportunity to build our dream home by the sea came up and we decided to take the risk and go for it. I am a 3D artist by trade and my husband pushed me to design and draw up our dream home so we could send it to the architect and make it real we are currently in the planning permission stage now.

We need to sell the house we are living in now to pay for our dream house. We had a lot of interest in our home as it is a four bedroom with a big kitchen and a small garden in the city centre which is a very rare thing here.

We got the house cheap as it was falling apart and needed a lot of work and it took years of blood sweat and tears to get the house looking amazing it was a project that we thought would take two years but ended up taking eight years.

There was so much interest in the house it went to the closing date. One thing I had always made clear to my husband is that I want our home to go to a family or a young couple and not a property investor that will turn the house into an Airbnb.

The closing happened and it was a tie between two buyers one was a young couple with a two-year-old and an 8-month-old baby and the other was a property investor. My husband went for the property investor and didn’t discuss it with me until he had already accepted their offer.

He told me it was because we had a tight deadline with the land we were buying we needed someone to sell too fast and an investor had lots of equity and could get the cash fast but he didn’t even give the family a chance. 

Ever since then, I have struggled to sleep and I've felt a pit growing in my stomach. I feel sad and guilty all the time now and I feel my husband went against my wishes. He may have justified it, but I feel it poor excuse.  We have close ties in this neighbourhood we send Christmas cards and gifts to our neighbours my maid of honour lives three houses down when we got married our neighbours got together and got us flowers and gifts, I still have the champagne flutes they are lovely people and I feel like I’ve let them down.

If our house gets turned into an Airbnb you can fit 10 to 13 people it’ll be a party house and will ruin the neighbourhood. I worked so hard on this home it’s breaking my heart knowing who is going to and that my husband give it to them.

How do I get past this I feel so much anger and disappointment towards my husband right now that I’m struggling to get excited about building our new home. I know I’m the asshole because I am moving away we are leaving a problem behind us And I can’t get that out of my head do I just need to get over myself or is there anything I can do?