I (24F), have had this personal rule. I am always open to talking on the phone with friends and family. That group comprises of maybe 5 people. I just prefer that they send a text beforehand telling me they want to talk. If I am truly busy or not in the mood to talk, I will let them know. I just feel that calling out of the blue (unless it's and emergency) puts me on the spot and I feel bad declining a call if I am not ready to talk or I'm busy. Sending a text beforehand would at least give me time to prepare or tell you I'm busy and set up a specific time that I can make space?

The reason I am coming to y'all now is that my boyfriend (42m) expressed some opinion regarding my feelings that kind of hurt, and I would love some outside advice from strangers. Yes, there is an age gap so this may be a simple difference in opinions. But he said it's disrespectful to not want to pick up the phone. He also said that me preferring a heads up text is childish and not necessary, and that I should be grateful that my loved ones want to talk to me. It felt very belittling and I genuinely believe its my own boundary of wanting a heads up text. It makes me feel respected and also gives me time-whether it be a few minutes of few hours- to set aside time to open myself to conversing with my loved ones. I just don't like to be put on the spot i guess. Especially since I am always trying to establish times and dates to talk to those I love.

My question is, Am I an Asshole for wanting to set this boundary? Is it a dick move to decline calls that come out of the blue, when I feel unpreparded to have conversations?