Basically the title. I (M26) have been in love with this girl (F27) since college (2017). Afaik, we both were each other’s first and last partner till this point.

Both of us love each other with all her heart (I am a bit unsure about it now) and technically speaking both her and my parents are completely fine with us getting married.

She has asked me multiple times but I’ve always said no and now her parents are forcing her to marry someone else and we just had a “final” talk yesterday and again I have said no to her because of following reasons:

1. ⁠Financial Stability: I co-founded a startup sometime back and I’m still struggling to make my ends meet so obviously how do I provide for her (although I might not need to). Her parents are fine with it considering my past jobs and credibility. However, it’s not sitting right with me as I genuinely think I should be ready for rainy days, no matter what anyone says.
2. ⁠I smoke: This one’s kind of hard to explain. My father died when he was around 40 and I was 8 due to lung cancer. I’ve seen my mom struggling to make ends meet and what if she has to go through the same thing?
3. ⁠The guy her parents found for her is very rich.

I feel like I can improve my financial situation by getting a corporate job as I have good experience. But I genuinely hate the idea of it. I love my work right now and I don’t even want to have an idea in the future that I am unhappy because of her.

At the same time, now I doubt whether I even love her considering none of the above problems are very sensible, in all honesty. Am I just making excuses to run away from this.

I think I’d be in a much better position to take stand on this in some time (maybe a year or two), but obviously she does not have it.

I broke up with her sometime back because of the same reasons as I knew she would need to get married soon and since I am not the guy, I should rip off the bandage then and there only.

Tldr: AITA for rejecting a girl I love because of my fears.