While I don't think I'm the asshole, I kinda feel like one. I (30f) am child-free due to various health reasons between my husband and I, having babies for myself isn't really in the question, and I usually don't care to hear about others pregnancies due to it making me squeamish at times (There is a good chance I have some form of Tokophobia, but that's not super important for this I don't think). In the last couple years I've had two women at my department get pregnant, M and C, both are younger than me, between 20 and 27 (leaving vague). And I am def more happy for C than I was for M.

M is the younger of the two, and while she and her bf aren't married they've been together a long time, and she got pregnant, and gave birth, around a year or so ago. Now, while M and I didn't not get along she... def wasn't my favorite coworker. She often skirted her job onto others or focused on doing the wrong thing which threw everyone else off. Her bf also... isn't the best person, and while she loves him deeply, no one in the department felt he loved her based on how she talked about that went on at home. We are all convinced she tried baby trapping him, and while they're still together, I don't believe they've married yet. She did leave the company a few months before the baby was born to be a SAHM, despite the fact he doesn't make enough, but according to her that was an agreement they made a long time ago. But I digress, to each their own.

I can honestly say I actively dreaded M having a baby, not because I didn't think she'd be a good mom, that was never in question, but because I didn't think her situation with her bf and living with his family was a good one, baby or no, since they didn't treat her well from all the complaining she told us. I'm not sure if she thought a baby would change this or not, I doubt it heavily.

Now, C and I get along great, we joke and laugh, she's a hard worker, and I can say that, unlike M, I am happy to hear about her progress and things she's doing to prep for baby, I'm even excited to see her bump progress. She has a loving husband and a great support group with both of their families and there is no question how loved this baby will be when born. The happiness I feel for her and baby is genuine, but I can't help but feel a small pang of guilt I never felt this for M, and while I did cut her some slack for being pregnant, many of the working habits she had before she became pregnant and thus I really couldn't see myself giving her that much leniency as I do C, though we made sure she never did anything to hurt baby while she worked.

I'm just wondering if it makes me the asshole for doing more for C right off the bat as opposed to waiting until the doctor says she has to start cutting back, and also being way more excited for her pregnancy?

So, AITAH?