Hey guys,

I’m sitting here in a conflicted state of mind. Long story short, I’m a 28 y/o male who got out a relationship a couple months ago. I met a girl the same age a few weeks off of Hinge. We had really hit it off and we’ve gone out a few times over the past few weeks.

Anyway, she came over for a movie night a a couple weeks ago and I was really concerned she wanted to jump into sex. I did not feel like I was quite ready yet. As that night progressed, she said she wasn’t ready either and I was very relieved. We had a very good night together and just generally fooled around, but watched a movie.

Fast forward to now, I had just gotten home from a work trip last Wednesday and we decided to have another movie date on Thursday. I had even made plans for us to do go more on an official date on Saturday. We’ve already gone on a couple out in the town dates so far. She comes over and we enjoy each other’s company for a bit. We end up moving to my bedroom and she makes a comment about how if we end up sleeping together that it will make her “crazier” about me. She has made comments in the past about people that had thought she was crazy, but I had taken it as maybe she had general falling out with these people.

I was reluctant but we ended up having sex and I made sure to be safe and used a condom. Everything went good and I actually had a nice time! She was a little put off that I had been checking the condoms quite a bit that I had used. But I explained to her that I was nervous because I hadn’t had sex in awhile. She then said that she wouldn’t try to baby trap me and that she’s not going to pop a plan B every time I think a condom may break because it’s not good for her health. Very confrontational out of the blue. She said it kind of felt transactional because I was focused so much on the condom. Again, I said I was nervous and apologized. She got over it and we ended up cuddling then she slept over.

Yesterday, we got up and everything was still good. She went home because she had to WFH yesterday. We had made plans to hit a workout, make some soup (she had a bit of a cold), and stay at my place again. I sort of felt things were moving a little fast, but I was able to go with the flow. We text periodically throughout the day and she says she’s about to head over shortly to my place. I tell her I’m ready and she asks me about what outfit she should wear for a date we had planned for today. I made some suggestions and the sudden confrontational shift of mood happens. She randomly brings up this girl I had followed on instagram and asked why I still followed her.

She had expressed some misgivings on my follow list on IG with a couple accounts that had bikini clad girls I had followed when I was in college. I don’t really use social media that much and said I honestly had forgotten to unfollow them. We had talked the night prior to that and she had asked if I was talking to anyone else. I said no and she said no as well. We both came to conclusion of wanting to exclusively just be focused on each other. I said I would unfollow those accounts she had mentioned and she said she would work on her follow list as well. She asked me about this random girl on Friday that I followed on IG from back home. I told her I hadn’t spoken to her in forever and that it was just a follow. She said oh okay and we moved forward from it.

Now back to last night, she brings the girl randomly on the phone again and asked why I hadn’t unfollowed her. I said because I didn’t know if you wanted me to or no and because I have no relationship of the sort with this girl. This girl from IG lives hundreds of miles away back home as well. The girl I was talking to said well you can always visit home and social media is a gateway to other things happening like being cheated on. I was very confused by all this and told her that. I also said I hadn’t been saying anything about her IG follow list and she said she still needed time to go through and weed out the people she thought I wouldn’t like her following. I personally don’t give a damn about social media.

I told her I’m not a mind reader and if she wanted to me to unfollow this IG girl’s account then I would do it as I have already unfollowed these other accounts she didn’t like. She said I should just already know that and that I was acting like a child. She said she deserves be treated with respect, etc. and was saying she would contact this girl to ask who she was to me. I told her adamantly no not to do it and that I didn’t want to see her last night and to stay home. She then proceeds to say I’m f’ing coming over and I have to tell her several times not to. By this rate, she is freaking me out and I am scared she’s going to go full stalker on me. I am still in shock how this conversation led to this. She starts to cry and is very apologetic suddenly, but I said I’ll just talk to her tomorrow and give me some space.

I call and talk to her today and just end up breaking things off because I felt scared and stressed by her crazy reaction to something so random. She said she felt used and that I just used her for sex and she begs for a second chance. She said she wasn’t trying to act crazy, but that she really cares about me and has an emotional connection. That she didn’t have the time to go full stalker on me and felt very connected and liked me. I felt like I need to stick to my guns and just continued to cut things off.

Did I overreact and did she just make an honest mistake? Should I double back and give her a second chance?