I started dating my boyfriend in October 2024. Our relationship was going pretty smoothly until I broke up with him around two to three weeks ago. For some background, before that, we had been dealing with some minor issues, 100% because of him. He wasn’t putting in effort, he prioritized being seen as nonchalant, and he didn’t do things that showed he actually cared about me. But he always reassured me, and his words were perfect, which is what kept me around.

2-3 weeks ago though, something serious happened. He sexually assaulted me, and I felt like I had no choice but to break up with him.

It happened when we went to the park. I needed to charge my phone, and the only plug was by the bathroom, so we went there. Once my phone was charged enough, he convinced me to go inside the bathrooms with him. They were single stall bathrooms, just a toilet and sink inside. I went in expecting us to just kiss or maybe make out a little minimal handsy stuff, nothing intense.

But once we were inside, he started begging me to let him see my body. It escalated. He started trying to yank off my clothes. I kept telling him no. I told him I didn’t want to because I’m self-conscious about my body I still am and I just wasn’t ready for him to see me like that. Despite what I said, he ended up pulling down my skirt and underwear against my will.

I had told him no. Repeatedly. But he did it anyway.

He immediately apologized, saying he didn’t know why he did it and that he was really sorry. When we left the bathroom, he said he didn’t mean to make me uncomfortable and gave me a hug, still apologizing. I zoned out for the rest of the night. I think he could tell the vibes were off. The next day, I broke up with him. I had been crying all night and couldn’t get what happened off my mind.

When I first confronted him about it, he didn’t give any excuses. He just said he understood, wished me the best, and I blocked him everywhere.

After I blocked him, he went on his alternate TikTok account and messaged me asking for another chance. He said he didn’t mean to do what he did. When I told him it was sexual assault, he got defensive. I asked for an explanation, and he told me that when he was around 8 or 9, his uncle used to pull down his pants (implied he sa’d him), flushed his head in toilets and did things like that as a joke. He said that was why he did it to me even though he acknowledged it wasn’t a valid excuse.

Later, he changed his story. He said he thought I was just being shy, and that I actually wanted it, even though I had said no multiple times and was actively trying to cover my body while he tried to yank off my clothes.

He also told me that I sexually assaulted him once because I smacked his ass. But when that happened, he never said he was uncomfortable—he laughed at the time.

So now I’m wondering… am I the asshole for breaking up with him? I don’t know if his trauma story is real or if it explains anything. I don’t know if I did something wrong. I’m confused.