I, 19F, have been in an off and on relationship with my 18M ex boyfriend for 3 years. In the past we had problems, arguing a lot and him showing low effort and we decided to break up. Since then we’ve attempted to try again to no avail until we went no contact for about 6 months. My issue was that he was never vulnerable with me about his feelings, which then to me felt like he didn’t love me the way I loved him. One day I get a message from him, completely pouring his heart out, and I decided to give him one more chance. Our relationship was so much healthier, disagreements solved without shouting, him communicating his emotions a lot more. However, recently, he gives me blunt replies, or takes longer to reply than he used to, we don’t have conversations the same as before and the effort in our relationship on his behalf has significantly decreased. For extra context, we are medium- distance, seeing eachother every 3 weeks- 2 months, he’s in my hometown, I’m at university. I’ve been home recently and we were supposed to meet up today, which I was really looking forward to. But yesterday, I went to one of the local pubs with my friends and saw him arrive. I obviously went over, extremely excited to see him after not seeing him for a few weeks. Straight away he rolls his eyes at me, not even saying hello, so I decide to ignore him and say hello to his friends who were actually acknowledging me. He then makes a snarky comment about me not saying hello to him as if he didn’t roll his eyes at me. I tried to speak to him about it and he tells me he doesn’t want to see me, he’s in a bad mood and I should go back to my friends, which I did. A few hours pass, I see him and I go to speak to him, saying “what can I do to cheer you up”. He’s being so off with me and I explain that it’s upsetting me that he’s taking out his bad mood on me this way after not having seen me in a while. He says, I’m treating everyone this way because I’m in a bad mood- but surely I should be an exception?! Idk I think this was the straw that broke the camels back, I definitely have some sort of attachment issue to him which is why I used to let him get away with this kinda thing time and time again, but all I want is to be with someone that’s excited to see me after 2 days apart, let alone 3 weeks. I guess this post is more of a am I overreacting rather than AITA, because I’ve done nothing wrong, except, according to him, not being understanding of his bad mood and just leaving him alone.

UPDATE (if anyone cares) Last night I blocked him on all social media’s and messaged him saying we’re over. However, call me a pushover, but because there’s such a long history between us I extended the offer to meet in person and speak. This is what he said:

i’m really stuck. as much as i’d like to talk it in person, last night just proved to me that it’s just the same as the last time and you don’t understand me. if i want u to leave me alone and i say ill speak to u about it tomorrow, i mean it. you just going at me and not leaving me alone and not listening to me is just making things worse. and it was just like us a few years ago. you also ended things through the phone last night so there’s no point. ur saying it’ll end amicably so i’ll leave it.

I responded with this, to which I got left on read:

the blame being put on me is just so upsetting. firstly, it’s clear to me you’ve mentally clocked out of our relationship, not even being able to greet me, instead eye rolling at me after 3 weeks apart. i put in the effort to try and sort things out with you last night, just because you’re in a bad mood doesn’t mean it should get taken out on me. you are an 18 year old man who should be able to regulate his own emotions. everyone has bad days, yes, but not everyone throws a tantrum about it and is rude to the people they “love” for no reason because of it. i’m not the same person i was in the past, i just care when someone i love is feeling bad and i want to help as much as i can. when im getting pushed away and treated badly because of it, it hurts me even more. maybe i should’ve left you alone, but you’re a grown man now, and you should’ve thought slightly about my feelings instead of being selfish. you had the option to get the bus home, walk home or take a cab home from (pub name), but u decided not to, and apparently that’s my fault.

For context, his strop was because he didn’t want to go to the pub. He ended up coming because his friends did, and then was nothing but miserable to them and me because of it. Honestly now I’m just asking for advice, it’s so difficult to move on because I have such an attachment to him, he’s my first love. Right now I’ve decided to go on the date we were supposed to go together to, alone, to clear my head. I haven’t spoken to any of my friends about it yet, because we used to break up so often, they’re probably tired of hearing about it. I feel I’ve said my piece to him but it’s still really upsetting he doesn’t even have the decency to reply.