A few years ago, I got into a relationship with my crush. At first, everything was going well - I was genuinely happy. A few months into the relationship, however, I noticed a few small changes in my partner, them saying that they didn't get out of bed until the afternoon and were exhausted 24/7. I did not really notice anything too bad or concerning, as they were never a morning person and always took naps after school. They did this the entire time I knew them. I did not see it as a big deal.

That was until I received a text in the middle of the night saying they did something bad. I will not go into too much detail, out of respect for them, but I noticed it later in the day when I was at school and reported it to an adult.

After this, they changed. They became quieter and missed school often. They kept telling me they were sad and that they hated their life. I tried to help them as much as I could. I encouraged them to get help, but they didn't.

A few weeks later, I received a very concerning text. I quickly alerted the right people and got them safe (once again, will not go into too much detail out of respect for them). If I had not reacted like I did, as quickly as I did, it would've ended differently. This situation changed me as a person, and I would argue this event was traumatic for me; to this day, I am still sensitive to this. I live with the fact that I am the reason why someone is here. I don't know why, but knowing that hurts - there could've been a possibility that I was not quick enough in the moment. I feel even guilty for not noticing the signs first; I should have. But I am also frustrated because their own parents saw and were aware of the behavior, and still put it on me (at least from my point of view). 

For months, I tried to support them. They still were struggling, talking about death, hurting themselves, how empty they felt, how they were lonely, and couldn't go out. I tried my absolute best to help them, but no matter what I said or did, it was never enough. I felt like they started to rely on me too much - an unhealthy amount. I became their therapist. Even their family said that I was their “emotional support." I was just a child. They were unwilling to get better, in my opinion. I know that sounds harsh, but they did not want to go to therapy, any "at-home" mental health tips, diet changes, etc. I felt like they wanted me to take their pain away. They also started to not respect my boundaries, often hugging and being affectionate in public, even though I did not like it and told them no multiple times. 

During this time, I was also struggling badly with my mental health. They did not know this, as I could not share it with them. They could not have handled it; they made it very clear that I saved their life, and without me, they would be nothing and have no reason to live. I was in a very dark place and felt like there was no way out of this situation.

I did not want to hurt them, but I was hurting myself trying to be with them. I knew that leaving them would really hurt them, but I had to put myself first for once.

So, I broke up with them. And as I expected, they were hurt, but also really angry. They reached out to some of my friends and told them that I broke their heart and caused them to not get out of bed for days. Their family also became mad at me. And because he reached out to some of my friends, it tarnished my relationships with them. I feel bad as I know that part of being in a relationship is supporting each other, but I felt trapped.

It's been a while since this situation happened, and I am in a better place now, but I still have a lot of guilt. I wish I could have made it work, but I also do not think it was my job to fix someone. I was just a child, struggling with my own mental health. I wish the entire situation had never happened. I wish we had never dated. I often find myself becoming triggered due to this situation. I honestly do not know how I will ever be in another relationship. I find myself getting angry at this situation. I am mad that it happened. 

I often find things in my personal day-to-day life that bring me back to the fear and shame I feel from this situation. I am mad at my ex, and I know that sounds crazy, but I hate that this happened. I feel like I will never be able to go through a relationship because of this. Sometimes I think about getting into a relationship in the future, and I just immediately get brought back to my ex and what happened, and I hate it. And I often wonder if this was wrong of me, but I also know that this was the best thing for me to do.

I’m sorry if things are confusing; it is hard for me to word some of this stuff.

Anyway, AITAH for breaking up with someone over their mental health when I was struggling myself?