I (42F) planned a staycation to celebrate my boyfriend of 3 years turning 42. I booked a room at a 5 star hotel that included reservations at the 5 star in house steak restaurant. We checked in and relaxed then I started the process of getting ready for dinner. The bathroom is like a mini room so I had the door closed and my music playing through my desktop speaker as I showered and started working on blow drying my hair. I could hear the room door opening and closing multiple times and wondered what was going on that my bf had to keep coming and going out of the room but didn’t say anything and continued getting ready.

About an hour later I thought I heard yelling so I turned off my music and listened and it sounded like it was coming from outside so I put on my robe and opened the bathroom door and I didn’t see my boyfriend in the room so I just chalked it up to him having the tv on too loud. I closed the door, put my music back on and continued getting ready. About 25/30 minutes later I hear loud knocking on our hotel door. I was in a towel putting on makeup so it took me a minute to find something to slip on. I come out of the bathroom and don’t hear knocking or hear anyone talking. I ask what’s going on and my bf shrugs his shoulders but he has this look that gives me the feeling something is wrong. I ask him who was at the door and he shrugs again. I open the door and peer out into the hallway and I don’t see anyone or hear anything. I look at him and there’s this weird vibe and I ask him “everything ok did something happen” and he makes a face and says “People here are too nosy, they act so bougie. I don’t like it.” This immediately puts me on alert. I will admit what he said bothered me because I went out of my way paying for a luxury night out and I was a bit offended by his attitude. I ask him “Did something happen? Why are you saying that?” He doesn’t really respond and I tell him I’m going to finish getting ready and if he feels that uncomfortable then he needs to just stay in the room and quit going in and out. He gives me an annoyed look and begins flipping through stations looking at tv.

About 20 minutes later I hear loud banging on the room door. It takes me a little bit of time to get out of the bathroom because I’m only halfway dressed and was in the process of taking hot hair curlers out so I’m scrambling around putting on my robe and trying to keep my top half covered. I come out and I can hear loud banging and hear “Police!!! Open up!!!” I look over at my bf and he’s looking down and I ask him what the hell is going on and he doesn’t answer he just continues looking down. I open the door with a shocked look on my face and I see 2 police officers and what looks like the hotel manager and some hotel staff. I ask what’s going on and they proceed to tell me that my bf was walking around the hotel grounds smoking despite numerous signs that say no smoking and they asked him repeatedly to stop and he was rude to the staff. I turn to look at him and he says I was just hitting the vape it’s not illegal. The manager then tells me that no smoking permitted and that includes no smoking out of vapes or anything else.

She then goes on to tell me that other guest were complaining about smelling marijuana out on the patios and both rooms on either side are empty and she knocked on the door and didn’t get an answer. I apologized and explained that I was in the bathroom with music playing so I was unaware that anything took place. She understood and continued to say that she went in the room next to ours and out on the patio and she could smell the weed and saw my bf outside on our patio and told him to quit smoking and he was very rude and yelled back at her. I looked over at him and he quietly said “I thought she was just a guest being a Karen, I didn’t know she was the manager.”

I begin apologizing profusely and she tells us that we have to leave and the police are here to escort us out! I was MORTIFIED!!! I tried talking to her to see if there was any way this could be rectified and she was adamant that nothing could be done and we needed to leave immediately. I tell them that I need to finish getting dressed and how we had reservations for dinner and she replied that she canceled our reservations when she looked up our hotel information and that a deposit was charged to my card on file and there would be no refund given for the room since hotel policy was violated. I was LIVID! Thankfully the officers gave us 30 minutes so I was able to change and pack my belongings in private.

As I was finishing packing I noticed my bf had stripped down to his boxers, I gave him a confused “WTH” look and he says “let’s do it real quick before we have to leave!” I looked at him with complete disgust and scoffed and started rolling my luggage to the door. He then began to act upset and offended. He actually looked shocked at my reaction and asked me why I was being like that and I told him to just hurry up and put his f’n shirt on. He was acting like what occurred was no big deal and I just kept looking at him like I was disgusted. He tells me “Come on, I can’t believe you are being this way it’s my birthday!” I respond “I pay all this money to show you a good time for you to turn around and ruin everything!!!” He says he will pay me back and tries to tell me it’s the people here and they are stuck up and think they are all high and mighty and I tell him no it’s because he’s an inconsiderate AH and if I had any idea that he was going to act so ghetto I never would’ve done this. He responded with “Wow! So that’s what you think of me!” I just gave him another disgusting look and got my bags and walked out of the room.

I seriously considered leaving him there. On the ride back he said something along the lines of he didn’t understand why I was so mad whenever it was his birthday that essentially got ruined. To which I replied that it was ruined by his own doing. He ruined his birthday and he ruined the rest of the evening and he ruined our relationship. We didn’t talk much the rest of the ride. He stopped to get a pizza and I took one slice only because I was starving and stayed silent as he attempted small talk. We technically live together but the only thing he really has at our place are clothes since we don’t have a lot of room and he keeps his tools and all his big items at his old place with his brother.

He pulled up to his old place and says he needs to get something and comes back with 200 dollars and says it’s all he has on him and I tell him the room was 300. He tells me he will get me the rest and I just shrug. His brother came outside so he goes over to talk to him and I take this moment to put his bags on the curb. He comes over and ask what I’m doing and I tell him I need a break from him. He looked upset like he was going to cry and I started to get in my car and he tried to stop me,not in a violent way just sort of trying to hold my hand and hug me and I just pulled away and shook my head. After a brief pause between us he sounds like he’s on the verge of tears and says please don’t do this. I didn’t answer and continued to get in my car and drive away.

He has sent me messages saying I love you to which I haven’t responded. We have never done anything like this together before. For his past birthdays we have just had cookouts or went to eat somewhere of his choice and I usually have something planned for my birthday celebrations with my family and friends. I can’t help but feel like this situation was a major red flag. I feel conflicted because I can understand if a fancy hotel and 5 star steak restaurant may not be his thing and not something he wants but in my eyes that does not excuse his ungrateful behavior he displayed at the hotel along with the fact that I enjoy nice hotel stays and dinners at 5 star restaurants to celebrate special occasions and have to wonder if I plan a something similar for my birthday if he will sabotage the night. He sent me a message that said “some birthday” and I finally text back saying “your birthday doesn’t give you the right to act like an inconsiderate and disrespectful A**Hole” I am too embarrassed to disclose what happened to my friends so that’s why I opened it up to REDDIT to get outside perspective on if i am the AH.