Hey friends, long time listener, first time caller. I oscillated between posting in r/relationship_advice and here but decided this is the better place since I am looking for input on a particular interaction. I tend to wax poetic so will try to be brief and can expand on anything that is needed.

I have (had?) a friend, let's call him Nick, who I've known for 20+ years and considered my best friend. Years ago he developed a drug addiction which led to a very difficult time in his life. I don't want to get to deep into it but it got bad - using, dealing, lying, stealing, rehab, experimental treatments, etc. Throughout it all I did my best to be there for him even when, according to him, others bailed. I checked up on him, helped out financially, helped him look for work, got him involved in sports etc. I couldn't kick the habit for him but I tried to support his efforts to get clean in any way I could.

In recent years he had luck in rehab and seems to have genuinely turned his life around. I say this in light of other attempts that didn't last but this time felt different to me. He's been doing better and better - professionally, romantically and just in general in his day to day life. I'm genuinely happy that he's doing well and was excited about this chapter in our lives. Unfortunately, the better he's been doing the more he's pulled away from me.

It wasn't any one specific thing but I noticed he would only message sporadically. Never call, never invite me to hang out. I invited him to hang out a few times and we made it work a couple but I definitely noticed a lack of reciprocity. I guess I didn't get a whole lot of reciprocity while he was fighting his addiction but I didn't think much of it at the time. Now it just feels like I'm a reminder of a life he wants to forget and there's no use swimming against that current.

I tried to give him his space and just check in on occasion but the last time we hung out I called him out on it. Funny enough, he was talking about a friend of his who didn't appreciate what he (Nick) had done for him and I mentioned that I thought I supported him the best I could during some difficult years but now I'm feeling like I barely see him. He offered some excuses but largely apologized and said he would do better. I took him at his word and, in fairness, we did text memes back and forth for a while though there was never a call or any kind of invitation to hang out.

Recently we continued on from some meme exchange and he'd revealed a significant milestone in his life that involves relocating. I was genuinely happy for him but honestly kind of hurt that I found out after the fact and the larger issue of him pulling away and here is where we get to the point of the post. The exchange went something like this:

Me: Are you going to be in [city]?
Nick: Yep.

Me: I always drove by when going to [other city] but never got to visit. Don't worry, not fishing for an invite.

Nick: That'd be great man, would love for you to visit.

Me: Come on man.

Nick: What do you mean?
Me: We haven't seen each other in [X] months.

Nick: Well we could change that.

Me: I don't like bringing this up again but we haven't seen each other in [X] months and when we did I was the one traveling to you. To be blunt, I'm not holding my breath for an invite.

He hasn't responded and I'm wondering if I was out of line. I consulted my partner who told me I had a legit grievance but shouldn't gave expressed it the way I did. I feel like the "don't worry, not fishing for an invite" was passive aggressive but I don't think an invite after the fact solves anything. I legit thought this one one of the closest people in my life and was overjoyed when he was doing better but it hurt a lot when he wasn't interested to keep up the relationship beyond the occasional text.

Part of me understands that he may just be looking for distance from the past. I'm happy he's doing well in his life - I'm just sad I'm not a part of it. At the end of the day he doesn't owe me his friendship no matter what support I gave him in the past but where does that leave me? I'm also hurt that it feels like 20+ years don't even warrant a reply.

I guess I'm done rambling. AITAH for what I said? Is it even worth apologizing or should I leave it alone?