We finished white lotus. I (35f) and partner (35m) were chatting, and he said that Laurie looked “beaten up” and that Parker Posie “let herself go” and that it’s sooo important to take care of yourself. He’s made these comments before, and his tone just irked me. I don’t like hearing women talked about that way, when it’s not even true! Secondly, he sparked some fear in me. What if he starts talking to me like that when I’m 56?! Will he dump me if at 44 I look 44? It caused a cold chill. Well, it turns out, I didn’t have to wait til 44. I told him “hey I don’t like the way you’re talking about them, they don’t look bad” or something along those lines. He literally says” you just feel called out because you’ve let yourself go. You relate to those women”. For once, my big reactive mouth was speechless . I’m 35, 5’8”, 138 pounds. I have a chronic injury, and am going to PT from another injury, but I can’t do much exercise and it kills me mentally. I love fashion, but we work from home so usually my hair is wavy, no makeup, glasses, casual clothes. Still, when we go out, I still think I look good! I have lost the sparkle in my eyes, my face is a little meh (despite the Botox I get in my forehead) and my hair is think and fragile all from stress. He’s constantly picking on me, constantly fighting and yelling and causing drama. I def have aged the last 5 years with him, from the depression and stress. Anyway, I tried to talk to him last night, as he literally ignored me the whole next day. I said I was genuinely confused why HE was mad at ME?!!! He immediately flew into a rage and said “we’ve talked about this before. I want a partner who tries, who wants to be better. You’re just comfortable.” He baldly lied and said he didn’t say I “let myself go” when he did, clear as day. It got awful, and I think I need to leave. Am I the AH here? For stating I felt uncomfortable when he made disgusting remarks about women, and then for feeling sad the next day?