This is a long and complicated story, but I’ll lay it all out as objectively as possible.

I, M (34M), was in a long-term relationship with my ex, L (33F). We have twin daughters together. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but I did everything I could to support her and build a stable life for our family.

When L got pregnant, we faced serious complications. Our twins developed Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS)—a dangerous condition where one twin receives more blood flow than the other, putting both at risk. L had to undergo invasive fetal surgery to try and correct it. The pregnancy became high-risk, and she was unable to work due to the complications.

At the time, I was making only $42,000 a year, not nearly enough to comfortably support a growing family on my own. But when L lost her income, I had no choice. I went out and found a new job, more than doubling my salary in the same year to make sure we would be okay. I moved the family to another state for the job. I took on all financial responsibilities… rent, utilities, groceries, phone bills, car insurance, health insurance, child needs (including insurances), and anything else we needed. I even covered things like her dental work and whatever else she wanted or needed, because I wanted her to have a good life.

After everything we went through—the stress, the sacrifices, the literal fight to keep our kids alive, L suddenly told me she didn’t love me, admitted she had used me for money. One day after not reliving the garbage can she took it upon herself to dumb food scraps all over my desk. Frustrated I went and picked the scraps up and tossed them back into the kitchen. A piece hit her and after an hour argument she called the cops on me. She attempted to press charges for assault. The police stated there was no assault, no weapons, and requested I find a friend to stay with for a couple days. The next day, L took our kids and moved out of state to my father’s house without my consent.

At first, she agreed to a FaceTime schedule so I could still be in my daughters’ lives. But then she started playing games… making excuses, delaying, rescheduling, or outright refusing to let me talk to them. She dodges direct questions and manipulates the situation to keep me at a distance.

I consulted a lawyer, who advised filing a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) to bring my kids back to our home state. I want shared custody, not sole custody—I just want to be in their lives. But L knows how to twist things, and I fear she’ll try to use anything she can against me. I know she’ll try to frame something it wasn’t, just like she’s manipulated every other part of this situation.

Now, here’s where my father comes in.

He has been largely absent from my life. Growing up, he wasn’t there. I met him at age 30. From then he didn’t check in, didn’t call, didn’t seem to care. Even now, I’m always the one who has to reach out first. And yet, now, suddenly, he has an opinion.

He admitted to me that he and his wife are afraid L will cut them off from the kids. So instead of supporting me, his son, he is siding with her. Not because he thinks she’s right, but because he’s scared he won’t get to see his grandkids. He would rather keep the peace with her than stand up for me while I fight to be in my daughters’ lives.

I called him out on it. I told him this just proves how little he’s ever cared about me. I refuse to be the kind of father he was. I will be in my daughters’ lives. I will not be erased. And if he’s too cowardly to stand by his own son, then why would I want him involved in raising my kids?

So, AITA for calling out my father and refusing to let L take my kids away from me?