I have never done one of these before but I’m at my breaking point and I need some clarity on if what’s happening in my home life is normal or if I’m going crazy.

I am 25 F. I still currently live at home with my parents who are still married. I maintain a retail management job currently and am in the process of saving up to move out. However there’s some other pieces to this.

I graduated college 2023 for a BA. The goal for me and family always growing up was that I didn’t “fall in line of family past” and basically graduate college with my masters and not be pregnant at the age of 18. So my school I got my BA from just created a masters program I’ll be enrolling in in 2026 and I’ll only have to do one year due to my outstanding grades and I’ll be graduated with my masters. Then I can make some good money in the field I want and also satisfy my parents needs.

Living at home still is making me lose my mind. There are days my parents swing one way, then they change it up the next. For example, I’ve been with my fiancé since July 2020. We got engaged in 2024. This man has been nothing but amazing to my family and has we’ll just say tolerated a lot for what my family has put up against him. My parents are super laid back generally though. They socially drink, smoke, hangout, go to casinos, all kinds of stuff. However my dad, still labels him as “boyfriend” sometimes to me and wont say his name. He refuses to invite him on any family vaca because the trips we take are “family only” and i am “too selfish” about everything. But then will tell me how much he loves him and why he gave him his blessing to propose to me because he knows hes a good man. But then he switches up. So yesterday, i was driving home from being out of town with him. We make it to my house, have dome late lunch, play some video games, then parents get home after driving to another town to watch my sisters college game. Mom FLIPS out on me through FB MESSENGER. Tells me I need to get my fiancé out now because my dad is “going to flip a lid because he’s here with me” and how selfish i am because I should respect my dad wants to come home and relax and have “nobody here”. So then I think okay it’s a guy issue it’s because my fiancé is here even though we didn’t do anything and he lets him come over numerous times in the past with them not here. Whatever. I test the waters today with a girl bud instead. I ask my father if next month if one of my best friends from college the last few years (she’s in my bridal party I see her literally every month I drive down to hangout with her) can come up and stay here on a Saturday night next month so I can show her around up where I live since the last FOUR YEARS IVE ALWAYS WENT DOWN TO HER. And he tells me how inconsiderate I am that I would ask someone to stay here that he “doesn’t know” and I never respect anything when it comes to his alone time. Like I understand from his view on some aspects. But it’s the way he words things, he makes me feel like I’m the worst daughter in the world for asking if I can see somebody for once or do something. I get I live under his roof but he raised me to be under the impression to not move out or get married until I graduate masters for college and I don’t understand how to meet him in the middle on things if he just tells me how awful and selfish I am anytime I try to ask him something.

I would say I’m a good kid. I’ve always done anything they’ve asked. I always did any chores and more without being asked growing up. I never have been in trouble with the law. I have always been responsible with my own money and my own handling of personal issues. I was all As in high school and college, got great grades and was in all types of clubs and did everything they’ve asked ever asked me to. It just feels like whenever I want to say something or ask I’m just inconsiderate and selfish.

There’s so much more I can add but that’s just a very short summary of something recently.

AND the reason I mentioned the vacation thing is because my fiancés family has taken me on all there’s and my fiancé wants to go with my family to spend some more time with them and it’s just as soon as I asked since we’ve been together and are engaged now it’s just nothing is enough. He says “only family” everytime.