I (30f asian) moved to uk to marry my husband (32m british). We are both part of a family group chat on his side of the family. My SIL (43f) posted a screenshot of an NHS post on our local town. This post is about a midwife looking for female individuals with ethnic, black, hispanic, asian backgrounds to talk about their experiences with maternity care for women in these groups in a focus group discussion to survey how they can improve their services. She then added her 2 cents saying, “I don’t ever comment and not planning too but I really want to (I won’t as I would argue and then it will be a race dispute) I am sick of people coming here and then making their own communities!! Imagine if there was an ad for “white people only” I am sick of it. People have already commented anyway but really annoys me and makes me angry”.

When I saw this, I explained to her that I don’t think this is what the post was aiming for and it’s a good thing because it is NHS working to improve their services for marginalised groups which is underrepresented at times. I also mentioned that I am part of an EDI group and based on experience, it’s the organisation doing their best to get our side of things, our experiences, to improve the way the organisation works if there is an imbalance. She responded to me saying that nobody should be making jobs for certain races as if it is a job for “white people” in their own country then all hell would break loose. I continued to say that I don’t think it was the point of the post as nothing in the original post was about a job opening specifically for people in marginalised groups. And she finished by saying it does not matter and it shouldn’t have been brought up at all and we just have to agree to disagree and move on, even when she started the whole conversation in a group that I’m apart of knowing that I too am an immigrant with my own community.

My other SIL (46f) added to the convo saying that it is not right to her that they are now just recruiting non-white police officers saying it is unfair and racist. And her responding to say “absolutely despicable in a white country”.

That’s when I have left the group and shared how I feel about to my husband who is very understanding of the matter and had my back. Calling how her words “sick of people coming here and making communities” as well as “white country” problematic and racially insensitive. To our surprise all she(sil) said was why I (op) am making it all about myself and taking this personally and that I have to understand more what the post is about which is about jobs (it is not btw) and how dare my husband imply she is racist because she has mixed children and her husband is half-black.

AITA for calling her out on what she said and causing a family dispute as she is now coming after my husband?