I am a 24M and my sister is a 34F. My twin nieces (8 years old) have recently been sending me a bunch of messages—usually while I’m asleep. When I wake up, I see the messages, we call and talk. Over the last two days, we spoke on the phone for 28 minutes one day, and 20 minutes the next. 28 minutes one was a video call. That’s 46 minutes total, where we even discuss the said messages. All messages that did not have a call after, I replied.

So today they arrived back home after a short trip with their cousin. Now suddenly, my sister (their mother)—texts me saying that "The girls have really caught a feeling cos of the above monologue" and attaches screenshot of just their messages and none of mine. "It's hurt their feelings. They were telling (name of her husband and my brother-in-law) and I that uncle (my name) didn't reply messages."

I then go ahead and send the screenshots of the calls showing we video called for 28 minutes the day before yesterday, and for 20 minutes yesterday. I also text and say "I reply and when I don't, we talk on phone and discuss the messages themselves." Which we do, so I see no need of replying to them.

She then texts back and says "I'm just telling you what they've told us. Maybe you can call them tomorrow....their little babies, they get emotional fast."

I was honestly taken aback and that sentence really rubbed me the wrong way, especially the "I'm just telling you what they've told us". She completely ignored the fact that I had spoken with them on the phone for close to an hour in the last two days. As she sent that, I had simultaneously also texted "And all the MMS messages are not received. They do not work". Something I also explained to the girls because I just do not receive MMS messages at all! That is, MMS messages over SIM card messages. And there were two MMS messages in her attached screenshot that I was now seeing for the first time in my life. She has not replied to my MMS message fact. That was an hour ago and it is now 2 am.

So I want to send this message:

"I'm just telling you what they've told us" means you’ve completely ignored my point that we’ve spoken on call for close to an hour in just the last two days—and always after the messages. Plus, I can already see you’ve checked out and have chosen not to acknowledge or respond to the reality that those 3 MMS messages were never received by me, which I also explained to them. That’s selective replying—which you do often. And you conveniently took a screenshot of just where I didn’t reply.

I do not appreciate being painted like I’m ignoring them. They are 8-year-olds (not little babies)—I get it, emotions run high—but I’m not going to be guilt-tripped after already putting in the time. Let’s not turn this into some emotional blame game.

Maybe explain to them that calls, where we even discuss the said messages, is not ignoring? Something I thought you would understand but "I’m just telling you what they’ve told us" indicates otherwise, and that what I say does not matter.

Thus, I will not call or text them today, tomorrow, or the days after. You can tell them we will talk when we meet face to face—at least until you all understand that calls are not ignoring, and you have communicated that understanding to me clearly. Otherwise, this will just keep happening.

On the other hand, if you think I am overreacting, just being fussy, etc., then you are always free to just tell them to not call or text Uncle (my name). As their mother, they will undoubtedly listen.

Have a great day ahead.

Am I the asshole here? Am I being “too defensive.” To me, it felt like I was being passively accused of not caring—when I’ve very clearly made time and effort to show up for them.