Yesterday evening. I (31M) ended my friendship with my at the time best friend of 5 years (26F) after one final argument where I was constantly lied to and gaslit. Yet I wake up this morning and feel terrible.

Me = me

C = Former best friend

K = Former friend's partner

J = K's younger brother

So a little backstory. me and C met 6 years ago in a nightclub as she was a mutual friend of a friend of mine. Our first time meeting and we did not converse at all. She was more interested in trying to get with my friend at the time so we didn't really speak.

About 5 months later, we met again just on happenstance. That is when we first spoke and quickly became good friends. She actually stayed at mine that evening. No none of that happened. Just a bacon sandwich in the morning.

I was young and I used to fall for people quite quickly so I asked her out about 5 months into the friendship. She immediately said no and I took a week or so to get away from it all and heal as we were friends, I didn't want my feelings at the time to impact that. I thank her for being honest at that time.

C has had a very messy early adulthood. She has epilepsy and developed and alcohol dependency very early on in her life. Very little stability, emotionally and monetarily. I have helped her out with a lot of that over the years. It's a bit embarrassing how much but in my mindset, I wanted her to have a good life and to be happy. And for the first few years she was. Yeah there were a couple of speed bumps along the way but she managed to get over them quite well.

Then in walks K (26M) who is a documented abuser and certified creep that even C's friends have commented on. They started dating in 2020 and not too long after, I noticed C had started going downhill. She had been trying to get off drinking at home for a long time and before she knew K, she had it down to a very good level from what it used to be (from 1 bottle of vodka every day to 6 cans of lager per day) and she was making brilliant progress. But a few months after K came into the picture, she had pretty much relapsed due to stress.

K did not like me from the start. Of course. I don't blame him at all. A man in her partners life that used to have a thing for her, I would be paranoid too if I was in his situation but over time. He had softened on mine and C's friendship as I did not give him any reason to suspect anything. As nothing went on. At least C told me that K was perfectly fine with our friendship as when we went out drinking (yes this is one that I take full responsibility for that I should have stopped earlier), She was always safe. We saw each other as family. I am the youngest of my siblings and she's the oldest of hers. So at the time, I saw her as the little sister I never had and she saw me as the big brother she never had. Me and C were both very lonely emotionally and I guess we sort of used each other as a crutch. Which yeah. Is not healthy in a friendship I'll admit.

But I noticed that it didn't take long for K and C's relationship to spiral downhill. K is an impulsive buyer and will buy second hand vehicles from Ebay or Facebook that will clearly fail their next MOT. He wanted the playboy lifestyle and it has left him £25,000 in debt.

K has also been found out on not being faithful to C numerous times. Not though actual s*x but through doing things that C was not comfortable with him doing. Using her money to subscribe to OF models or ordering fetish items. C has never been unfaithful to K.

Early 2023, K pleads guilty in court to assault by beating and strangulation and gets community service. The person in question who he assaulted? C! Who also ended up paying his fine. I was aware that he had been hitting her for some time but every time I wanted to do something or say something to K, C would plead for me not to as it would only come back on her. So I kept it quiet for her sake.

Late 2023. C and K are evicted from their apartment and a member of K's family takes them in for 6 months. Early 2024, C gets her own apartment and is told that it would be best for K to only stay there half of the week and do not be put on the tenancy as he has multiple outstanding debts. She has gone against this advice and has had K there pretty much constantly since then. C has asked K to pay his part of the rent and it has been very hit and miss and I was pretty much there to bail her out when he couldn't be bothered. Yeah money was a big part of our friendship that I got too deep into and I regret it spiralling out of control as much as it did. I am fine monetarily. No debts or anything and all is kept up but looking back on this today, I just think about what I could have used that money on.

Late 2024. In walks J (16M). J has had a tough upbringing. Hates his mother and his father was not a great father to him. J was staying at his fathers at the time until his father kicked him out. C and K decided to take him in and C's life has only gotten worse since then. J does not appreciate what C has done for him and will even gossip behind her back about how bad everything is. J is a very violent child, especially with K and C has had to try and keep pulling them apart. J will use all of the electric and just steal food which was supposed to be all 3 of them which leaves C especially short. And she needs to eat as one of her epilepsy triggers is a lack of nourishment. I have been helping with that recently as well as I did not want my best friend to have a drop fit or an absent seizure because of it.

Over the last year, when we have met up. I have pretty much spent at least an hour each time listening to C's problems. Constantly. It has started to get me down as I feel like it has become the only reason why C wants to see me anymore. I have mentioned to C that it is getting a bit overwhelming at times and she flies off the handle and we have an argument. We eventually start talking after a couple of days but this has pretty much become a fortnightly occurrence.

So yesterday evening, Me and C had an argument on Friday (the usual about me just being an ear for C) and I noticed when she took her coat off that she had quite nasty looking bruises on her arm. She looked like a deer in the headlights when I clocked them. I knew where they came from... K. Anyway, we got back to talking yesterday evening. Before that, she had been putting up WhatsApp stories about how she 'wanted to jump off a bridge' and 'goodbye everyone' when I was trying to get things in order personally. She has a tendency to just share those with me but you just don't take your chances with things that could be that serious. We eventually talked it out and made amends and met up. And it went as normal as the rest do. Poorly. Once again, the first hour or so was about C's problems and C hinting that she needed financial help from me... which unfortunately I succumbed to as I thought our friendship back on track. She told me about an evening she had over the weekend with a couple of friends of hers and showed be some pictures of their evening. I noticed that she had makeup on in the photos which is very different to how I know her. She's natural and is usually doesn't put any makeup at all. I said that the photo looks nice but the lighting for the photo is all off as it made her look so pale. I notice that after about 20 seconds that a tear starts rolling down her face. Oh god. I didn't think she would take that to heart so much. I apologised multiple times for saying it an assured her that my opinion doesn't matter when it comes to the photo. It's C and C's friends' opinions that matter. She keeps saying that I shouldn't be sorry and that she was fine.

So the evening ends and I thought apart from that small blip, all went well. Then I get a text from C asking for me to block K and J. I didn't really understand why until I couple of minutes later when my phone blew up with abuse from both of them. K immediately goes for the jugular saying 'get your own GF' and I have no idea why I'm getting these messages. But with everything K has done to me and C over the years, I had enough and messaged him asking about the bruises on C's arm from last week. He went silent after that. I messaged C and asked what happened for them to be acting the way they are.

C says to me that she had an absent seizure and must have told J and K about the photo comment that she said I didn't need to be sorry for and they flew off the handle. C then completely does a 180 and says that I should be sorry for making her upset with that comment. I ask her why didn't she just say that before and she said that she didn't want me leaving her on her own. Which I did only once in our 5 years friendship back about 3 years ago. She had been lying to me a lot recently about things that she said she'd do as her life is spiralling out of control. Like seeking professional mental help for her problems and to have a think about her future and what she wants. I guess tonight was the final straw and the final argument happened where she mentions that my friends always say that I still fancy her. Which I don't but this is a line that C uses quite a lot in an argument as she knows it hurts me to think about that and makes me paranoid of my other friends (3 of them have admitted to saying it behind my back).

I finally had enough and called off our friendship after 5 years as I have simply had enough of it and blocked K, J and C from everything. I don't need any more drama or manipulation or gaslighting. I have noticed that this over many months has caused my own mental health to get progressively worse. I personally have social anxiety, depression and a chronic disease that makes life very difficult and painful but I'll soldier on as it's all I can do at this point. I feel betrayed and very shut off from friends in general really but I'll push forward eventually. Just feel a bit lost.

TLDR - AITAH for calling time on a 5 year friendship because I have been consistently manipulated and gaslit