My Husband 40 and myself 38 and our 4 children were invited to go on vacation to Cabo. We graciously accepted and began the planning process with the in-laws. They paid for the rooms and we were going to pay for dinners and some outtings.

We had everything planned. We decided to take a last minute trip to the beach a month before our Cabo trip. Everything was great. Until our daughter came to us at the end of the trip and said Aunt Casey is coming to Cabo. When asked who told her that she said Grandpa told her while they were swimming in the pool.

My husband and I were immediately upset. Casey (not her real name) is my husband’s sister who we have not had contact with in years due to her being physically abusive (provoking fighting amongst her siblings.) husband is one of 5. and brought our children into verbal conflict. Verbal abuse. Violent outburst poor in pulse control. She has been told she needs help many times. And never gets it blaming everyone and never taking responsibility for anything.

Her life has been spiraling out of control for years never being able to hold any type of relationship.

Father in law has babied her and let her walk all over him and almost bankrupt him. She calls him names and is manipulated him to a point of no return.

My husband canceled as soon as we found out she was invited. They know our boundaries and have made it clear we will not be at anything she is at. knowing they wouldn’t get the money back, We did offer to pay our portion but they refused. Are we the asshole? They are mad because we canceled and decided to go on our own vacation.

Update:

I just want to thank everyone for their input. This is our 1st ever Reddit post and I never thought it get any attention at all. I thought it was crazy to post when a friend mentioned it. I’ve only ever looked at post on here.

We are sticking to not going and have planned our own vacation. We still love them and will never understand their relationship with Casey or how she is able to manipulate them( mostly my FIL) but that not up to us to fix or try to understand.

It’s our job to protect our kids and keep our peace. Which so many of you understand. Idk why we let others make us second guess ourselves over this issue. I guess things can get weird and awkward when money is involved. Thank you again for all the input!