Am I the asshole? I want my parents to spend time on our family trip with my child and their other grandkids instead of this random couple they’ve invited.
For context: My parents are absent grandparents- they never come to see us, we always go to them. They never call, it’s always us calling them. They barely message. They didn’t even acknowledge my son’s birthday. My siblings and I have expressed our frustration with their lack of effort and my parents always make excuses for it. They say they want to be involved in ours kids lives and promise to try harder but nothing ever changes. The time we do spend together is usually full of laugh and special memories. They love to play the dotting grandparents online/ to their friends as well. Onto the issue: My family has an annual vacation to a campground every summer. We all book our own cottages & spend a week together. I found out today from my sister that my parents have invited friends of theirs- another couple- on our family trip for the whole week. I was so upset when I heard this. I was so looking forward to them spending that time with us. I messaged my dad and expressed how upset I was they A) invited random people for the whole week without at least asking the family how they felt about it and B ) that they would be spending even less time with their grandkids/ kids if they have friends to entertain on the trip. Both of my parents got very defensive and accused me of being controlling/ demanding/ entitled. I told them how sad I was they were twisting my words and not seeing this for what it really is- they don’t spend time with their grandkids. I’m wondering if I am the asshole because I cancelled our reservation and my spouse/son will be sitting this year out. I cancelled because i think it will hurt me more than anything to see my child being ignored by parents. My parents want an apology from me now because I “really upset them” and I am trying to “own their time”. Anyhow- I’m very hurt and sad over this. I want my parents to grow a good relationship with my son. I was so close with my grandparents and I want that desperately for my son. I love my parents so much and I feel like our relationship is so one sided.