So my friend, Jay (not his real name)got tested positive for HIV infection and was struggling with life. He felt lost and scared because he thought he might not have many years to live. So he went to the doctors for check up hoping to get more detail and treatment for it. I was always there for him when he felt scared and alone. I always tried to comfort him in anyway I could. Jay lives in another country, so I can only FaceTime him to comfort him or send him texts. But I was one of the first people he told that he has HIV.

Now, I’m in a long distance relationship, but I live close to the border so I can just drive about forty minutes to get to my bf’s house. And I visit my bf every Monday, and my friend Jay knows about this. So one day when I went to visit my bf, my phone notifications are always silent because I don’t like hearing the ding go off. And apparently that day, Jay went to a doctors check up on his HIV status and I didn’t know about it. I didn’t have time to check up on my phone because I wanted to spend the day with my bf. But when I got home at 10pm and I checked my messages, I had received a message from Jay, five hours ago, telling me he had something exciting to tell me. So I asked him what happened. And he replied, “nothing, forget it.” And then he said bye. Which he never says unless for two reasons. One is that he’s annoyed at me, or two, he’s playing a joke. So I thought he was playing a joke until the second day I asked him what he was up to, and he told me “none of your business”. And I asked him what happened and he wouldn’t tell me.

Fast forward to today, which is two weeks later, I asked him what is going on because we didn’t talk to each other for two weeks, which wasn’t normal because we would update each other at least once every three days. And he told me that he went to get a checkup and found out that he tested negative for HIV and the doctor told him to keep taking a medicine to keep it negative. He said that I was the first person he wanted to share the message with but I wasn’t available at that moment because I was with my boyfriend. I told him that I was sorry that I wasn’t there for him at that exact moment and that I was happy for him. Then he proceeded to tell me not to put my bf before friends and said bye. First, this is my first relationship so I’m still figuring out how to balance out the relationship with other things. And second, Jay was really aggravating me because I feel like it was a petty thing to do, to throw away our friendship just because I wasn’t there at that exact moment. And in a fit of anger I called him petty, and he said “fuck you” and that’s the end.

What do I do now? Block him? Apologize? Wait a while until we calm down before reaching out?