I (18F) have been dating my bf (20M) for over 2 years now. I’m gonna keep this short or try to lol. It was my first relationship, I only kissed one guy prior, literally nothing else. I was pretty innocent, and didn’t know much. He was my best friend for over a year, so I really trusted him.

Intimate things picked up pretty quickly. I didn’t know any better, I let him do things I was uncomfortable with, he asked me to do things I was uncomfortable with, etc. I thought this was how it was supposed to be because I didn’t know any better and he told me it’s normal. He didn’t know I was uncomfortable with certain things, other things he knew I was uncomfortable but kept pressuring me, so I just gave in. I felt bad.

I won’t go into much more detail, but every time we did something I just felt sick and gross afterwards. After months and months, resentment started building up, and so I finally decided to have a talk with him. At first, he’s very sympathetic, admitting he knows he has pressured me into some things, he’s sorry, and we don’t have to do the things he pressured me into anymore. Then I tell him everything I am uncomfortable with, and it’s just complete rage. Saying I can’t just change now, and that’s it’s too late and if I was uncomfortable I should’ve said something in the beginning. I just shut down because I feel bad and I should’ve been honest, I don’t disagree with that.

After that the only thing that changed is that we don’t have to do the things he pressured me into, thankfully. Other than that it’s like the talk never even happened, but I was still grateful for that one part. But like I said, stuff is still happening. If we don’t do something at least once a day (on days I spent with him, which is almost everyday), then he gets mad saying I don’t care about him or his needs.

I get the same feelings again, and a few months later, I try to have a conversation again. Same thing. This repeats and happens 3-4 times. It’s just a vicious cycle. I suggest breaking up once, because clearly I don’t feel comfortable doing what he wants, and he should find someone who should, even tho I was head over heels for him. He says he will (TW) commit. So I feel stuck. This has been going on for such a long time, I’m so tired. I can’t help but feel at blame for this. I know I should’ve told him sooner, I have been so apologetic for that. But I feel like I should be respected, and he doesn’t agree that what he’s doing is wrong in any regard. Ever actually, in anything, I have many other reasons to leave him. Controlling, anger issues, but that’s not what I’m asking about, I just want opinions on this specific thing.

AITAH for wanting to change intimate boundaries in a longer (ish) term relationship? I want honest opinions, but please be respectful. I’m young and learning, and I’m sensitive lol. Thank you!