First, let me introduce myself and everyone in my family. I, 39F have a husband, 41M, Hugo, and 3 kids. Boy, 16, Mateo. Girl, 14, Sofia. Boy, 10, Diego. For a little background, my eldest has a girlfriend, 14F, Valentina, shes also my daughter’s best friend since birth, her mother and I have been best friends since college, and my daughter is very unhappy.

My husband and I are pretty laid-back parents. We’ve never been super strict—we give our kids a lot of freedom, but we do have three non-negotiables: don’t get arrested, don’t have sex, and always think before you act or speak and consider the consequences of your actions. That’s it. In our minds, they’re totally reasonable. Nothing overbearing, just basic respect and common sense.

Valentina’s parents, on the other hand, are way more hands-on. She’s got a curfew, can’t skip school unless she’s genuinely sick, has to check in about where she’s going and who she’s with, no daily junk food, she’s expected to help with her younger siblings, and no piercings until she’s 16. Totally different household. This is important for later.

Mateo, my son, told me years ago that he had a crush on Valentina. It was one of those sweet little “don’t tell anyone!” moments, and I didn’t. Fast forward to now, they finally started dating. It’s only been two weeks, but I could see it coming. Mateo told me right away, which I loved. Valentina, though, hasn’t told her parents yet, probably because she knows it’ll be a big deal.

And then there’s Sofia. She had no clue. No one told her, which probably wasn’t the best move, but it happened. Sometime during that first week, she and Val were hanging out and Sofia saw a message from Mateo pop up on Val’s phone. They’re super close, kinda like sisters, so of course Sofia knows her passcode. She went through their chats and found out everything. She was livid. Hurt, betrayed, the whole mix. It blew up fast.

It all went down at Val’s house. When Sofia confronted her, Val couldn’t deny it, the texts were right there on her phone. And Sofia, being a teenage girl with a lot of feelings, just started yelling. It got loud enough that Val’s mom, Maria (my best friend), stepped in to see what was going on. That’s when Sofia blurted everything out. Maria wasn’t mad that Val had a boyfriend, what really got to her was realizing Val felt like she had to keep it a secret. Val and Sofia kept going back and forth, things got tense, and eventually Sofia just grabbed her stuff and left.

Sofia came home sobbing, saying Valentina had betrayed her and swearing she’d get even. I told her to think about the consequences, a rule of mine. But honestly? What she told me made my blood boil. Valentina, her so-called best friend since birth, was being a complete bitch. I hate saying that about a kid, but seriously—what the fuck. And this is Maria’s daughter? it felt unreal.

Later, my son came to tell me that Sofia was “bitching”, yes, he used that exact word, about the whole thing and that I should tell her to let other people be happy. The audacity. Sofia, who’s been nothing but loyal, kind, and level-headed her whole life. And now she’s being dismissed like she’s just jealous or dramatic? I was fuming.

I told him to watch his mouth and think for a second that his sister was actually hurt, not just being dramatic. Of course, he got defensive, rolled his eyes, and muttered that I always take Sofia’s side, that she’s the favorite, and I never back him up like I do her. Maybe he’s not wrong. My husband always says my favoritism is obvious, but how could I not? She’s my only girl, my little princess, while the boys should just man up.

A few days later I found out Sofia had been spreading rumors, talking shit, blocking Val on everything—basically going full teenage girl mode. I didn’t really see the problem. Maria did. She asked me to talk to Sofia, said it was too much. I told her maybe her daughter shouldn’t have snuck around in the first place. She hits me with, “Well, if it were you and my brother, I’d be happy for you.” Like okay. Sure. Tbh? Total bullshit but whatever.

Hugo (my husband) told me that Mateo had complained to him that I was choosing Sofia over him, again, and that I don’t want him to be happy as much as Sofia doesn’t. That is not true because I may love Sofia the most but I don’t bias at all, I’m just choosing between the right and wrong and in my opinion he’s in the wrong.

Now; Hugo, Mateo, Maria, my youngest son Diego too for some reason, Valentina are mad at me and Sofia. But idk anymore. Am I wrong here? I’m sorry if this is long but I really need help because I’m starting to doubt myself but what Mateo and Valentina did is betrayal nonetheless. Please lmk.