My (29F) sister (32F) is getting married in a few weeks, and the entire event is being planned as an ultra-formal, black-tie wedding. Think floor-length gowns, tuxedos, designer shoes—the works. It’s a big deal for her, and she’s always dreamed of having a very elegant, “Pinterest-perfect” kind of wedding. I totally respect that.

The problem is, I just gave birth to my first child three months ago. I’m still adjusting, healing, and trying to feel normal in my own body again. I’ve been open about how I’m struggling with body image lately, and the idea of squeezing myself into a tight formal dress right now is anxiety-inducing. I offered to wear something nice—still appropriate and elegant, just not full black-tie. Something that doesn’t make me feel self-conscious the entire night.

She flat-out said no. She told me every guest must stick to the dress code “for the aesthetic” and that if I couldn’t do that, maybe I shouldn’t come at all. I was pretty hurt, but I told her, “Okay, then I won’t come. I won’t be comfortable, and I don’t want to spend the day miserable or take attention away from you.” I thought that would be the end of it.

Now my parents are involved. They’re upset that I’m “refusing” to attend and say I’m being dramatic and selfish. They think I should just “suck it up for one night” and “support my sister.” But I genuinely feel like I tried to compromise, and her response was basically “follow the rules or don’t come.”

I love my sister, but I feel like I’m being put in an impossible position. I’m not trying to be difficult—I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin and not be forced into a dress I hate, only to pose for pictures I’ll probably never want to look at.

AITAH?