About 3 years ago, I left my ex. He wasn’t a horrible guy or anything, but I was unhappy. He was obsessed with a video game and did some weird things on it, we had a dead bedroom and he wouldn't work on it, and we just shifted into roommates really. I didn’t have enough saved for my own place, but I knew if I didn’t leave I’d end up stuck.

I’d asked members of my family if I could stay with them until I had things figured out and had a plan for roughly 1 month, up to 2 months. They all declined, so I lived in my car for a while. My family is big on pulling yourself up by the bootstraps, no handouts, accept the consequences of your choices, etc, so I was not surprised. I did not have local friends to ask.

Thankfully after a few months my high school friend Penny, moved back to town and invited me to be her roommate, and that’s where I am now. 

Now for the conflict, lol. My mom asked me what I was doing in August because they were trying to get everyone to Florida for a family reunion. They had made reservations and things under the assumption I’d go. 

A while ago, Penny asked me if I could help her out at her craft fairs this year. She does 10-15 of them and it’s a big to-do. She sells gorgeous jewelry and ceramics. I gladly accepted.

I told my mom that I had plans over the summer and wouldn’t be able to come. She got angry with me and asked me what plans could be better than a trip to Florida. I explained what I’d be doing, and she scoffed. She told me that this was probably the last time we’d all get to be with some of the older family. She said I have no sense of familial obligation.

That statement got under my skin. Suddenly there’s a family obligation for me to pay to travel to Florida and spend time with people who wouldn’t even help me out when I needed it. I went to family dinners where at the end of the night I’d leave and go sleep in my car in the Walmart parking lot and nobody blinked.

I brought that up to my mom and she immediately slapped it down and said that my own bad choices are why I ended up living in my car and they were not required to coddle me as a grown woman. I said it goes both ways, and that their choices are why I will end up not joining them for a family reunion. She said I was being a petty brat. I ended the call. My sister later called me about it and asked me what the fuck my problem was and why I’m still holding ancient grudges against the rest of them and how this trip was supposed to be a big reset for the family and I’d be an idiot not to come.

I do know that there are a few members of my family I probably won’t see again if I don’t go. This is the main reason I wonder if I’m just holding onto hurt or if it’s “justified” for me to do this.