I (24f) and my fiancé who we’ll call Jake (26m) got engaged 6 months ago and are currently planning our dream wedding. We’re really excited about it. Here comes the problem though.

My Grandma recently asked me when I’d be going dress shopping. I actually decided I’d be wearing my stepmoms wedding dress. It’s a very pretty dress and my stepmom is excited to have me wear it. My Grandma isn’t to happy about it. She thinks if I’m not going to get a new dress then I should wear my mothers dress.

My mother died when I was 11. It was very hard on me and my dad. When she died it felt like she took my dad’s happiness with her. But two years after her death my dad met my stepmom who we’ll call Amy and a year after that Amy moved in with us. I was terrified Amy would be like those evil stepmoms you read about or watch on tv. You know the ones that try and make it where the ex wife never existed in the first place, by getting rid of photos and anything that might so much as remind anybody of the ex wife.

Amy wasn’t like that though! She helped me and my dad go through my mom’s stuff and carefully pack the things that were going into storage. When we moved after they got married she chose the photos to be hung on the walls of our new home she made sure to put up some pictures of my mom. For my 13 birthday she even convinced my dad to get an Australian Cattle dog, just like the one my mother had when she was growing up.

My point is Amy never tried to replace my mom. She even ended up becoming a mother figure that I’m extremely grateful for and love dearly.

I love my mom’s wedding dress as well but it’s just not really my style and would need a good bit of alteration in order to fit me. My mom had bigger hips than I do but smaller breasts than I do. Plus she was at least 4 inches taller than I am. Amy’s dress on the other hand is more my style and wouldn’t require as many alterations, as well as fit my weddings theme.

My father doesn’t see anything wrong with me wearing Amy’s dress instead of my mom’s. I’m going to wear some of my mother’s jewelry in honor of her so that way I feel like she’s there with me as well. So it’s not like I’m wearing nothing of my mom’s. I told my grandma that but she still wasn’t happy with that and she even told me that “It’s disrespectful to my actual mother and that she’s extremely disappointed.“

Since then she won’t shut up about it and keeps trying to convince me to wear my moms dress instead.

So AITAH?